Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Once again, it's been over a week without a post. Last week was full of ice and sick kids and hormonal downs so I didn't bother in sharing.

The truth is I've become very apathetic with almost everything. I don't have "ups" and I don't have "downs" - everything just is, and there's not much that gets a rise out of me. Even when something does, my brain decides it takes too much energy to worry about it, so it quickly flattens whatever is bothering me out and puts it back on an even playing field. Some might say all this isn't a bad thing, but in a way, I think it is. It's horribly boring for one. It makes me a boring person, even to myself.

Have you ever looked at people in a social situation and noticed how some people are the life of the party, and how others thrive off this energy and generally join in happily with conversation? You can start with one person, and from that it can get the whole thing flowing, until you have a nice little "party" going on..it's as if the energy is contagious.

I've seen it many times, but with me it's different. I want to join in all the fun, but it's like all the energy bounces off me like the same sides of a magnet. So I generally sit there, listening, the occasional smile...trying to loosen up? Wanting to be as cool as some of the people in the room, but it's just not to be.

It leaves me with the conclusion once again, that I really am a boring person. I guess it depends on the crowd you get me in, if it's one of politics and heated debates on religion...well...I can come to life. But when it's just everyday stuff, and nothing in particular, I fail. Miserably.

And then I wonder why there are few people that I can call "friends" - why have a boring friend when you can have one full of zest and passion, who lets you feed off their energy?

I want to think it's just a temporary thing, and one day I will rise and be the one people migrate too. I don't think it will happen though - solely, because not only do I bore people, but deep down I push them away too. Just when you think I might be interesting, you won't hear from me for days...weeks...cause something in me pulls away. I have no idea what it's about, but it's definitely a habit of mine.

Anyway, on a lighter note, Andrew will be home in just over 3 weeks. I am looking forward to it...maybe he can shake me out of my apathy. Wake me up or something, cause I feel like I've been asleep at the wheel for some time now.

Are you burned out?

Take this quiz and see.

I am - without a doubt.


Anonymous said...

Oh dear Glenda. You are a VERY interesting person. I don't think you're present situation is extremely condusive to leading a happy-go-lucky life. Think of it this way: You're missing half of yourself(Andrew), so once he's back, you'll be whole again. I think that will make things a lot better. Things WILL get better, just keep your chin up. Come visit me and I promise I'll make you feel better! I hate to hear you sounding so blue, makes ME sad. :o( Hang in there!
Lots of love!

TC said...

You are many things, but "boring" isn't one of them. Not even close!

poody said...

just because you aren't the life of the party does not mean you are boring honey. You may have a little depression going on though. Antidepressants work for me.

Anonymous said...

Have to agree with tc, boring is not something that fits you. So get off the pot and know there are a lot of people and agree with tc and me.

love you!!!