Thursday's Top 10

Ok, so lately I have been seriously slacking.

As in:

1 : not using due diligence, care, or dispatch : NEGLIGENT
2 a: characterized by slowness, sluggishness, or lack of energy b : moderate in some quality ; especially : moderately warm c: blowing or flowing at low speed
3 a: not tight or taut b: lacking in usual or normal firmness and steadiness : WEAK
4: wanting in activity: DULL
5: lacking in completeness, finish, or perfection
synonym see NEGLIGENT




The reasons why are somewhat difficult to articulate..the best explanation I can give is lately I have felt a little "out of place" -- and I'm not completely sure that's a good explanation. I don't mean it very literally, but just an overall feeling that this is all some how temporary -- my life as I know it now.

So anyway...it just makes me want to float above it all and observe. When I'm involved it feels like I'm not really there anyway, so why bother?

Promise I'm not trying to speak in codes, but I think that's my best shot at trying to give perspective of where my mind is at lately.

Anyway...here are the:

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR IN "FLOAT" MODE:


10. Keep having to wash the same load of laundry over and over again because you keep forgetting the next step of bringing it out of the washer and putting it in the dryer. (can you say smelly?)

09. Watch all the FREE "On Demand" programs your cable company provides. My cable company kicks ass so the list is pretty limitless...here are a few examples:

Fitness TV on demand - learn how to belly dance, Brazilian booty dance, urban dance, shape your abs, buns and thighs...and just for the hell of it, watch "The Ultimate Men's Workout"
(just watching these people gets me tired..but it's something to do)

Sports Instruction on demand - Learn skateboard tricks, the best way to train for a triathlon, all about mountain biking, golf, baseball skills
(you name it...I've watched it..come to me with all your sports questions)

Boom TV on demand: watch the Smurfs, the Pink Panther...Yogi Bear, etc, etc....it's like your 10 again but EVEN BETTER because you don't have some picky ass parent telling you to get up and be productive.
(you can eat on the couch and everything..it rocks)


08. Watch a lot of HGTV (home and garden tv) or DIY (do it yourself) TV and enjoy watching other people being productive. You get to see people fix up and sell their houses and meanwhile lose yourself in your thoughts of how YOU WISH you had a house of your own...especially the houses that these people tend to have..even the dumps that have potential...if only you had that house and the money to fix it..how fun would that be?
(for now..just watch other people do it and be jealous)

07. Watch the "Dog Whisperer" marathon on the National Geographic channel and secretly fall in love with Ceasar Millan -- all the while calling your dogs names because they don't seem to be as smart as the ones on TV. And don't forget when it's over...your on a true mission to prove to your dog who "The Leader Of The Pack" is. YOU. So get up and start bossing your dog around and wisping at it until it SUBMITS.
(if this fails, repeat the marathon that you've recorded and try again)

06. Lose yourself while toying with numerous blog templates..redesigning them, making your own graphics for them. This is actually a lot of fun, as lame as it may sound. (to me anyway)

05. Subscribe and watch the live feeds from Big Brother All Stars -- enough said
(yes I'm aware that this inherently implies I have issues!)

04. Go hang out at Lowes and actually watch people buy things to fix up their house. If you have some time to waste, actually fill up your cart with things you would buy to fix your imaginary house you wish you had.
(this takes the cake really...)

03. Become a member of Sam's Club just so you can go visit the warehouse and look at all the cool things you can buy in massive quantities. Then actually buy the things you hate going to the store for so you don't have to get them again for at least the next 6 months.
(Make sure to reserve a special closet just for all the toilet paper, paper towels, and other numerous things you've gotten in packs of six that you have no where else to put.)

02. Drive around your town and look at any and all empty store fronts that are for rent and dream about owning your own business. Then try to figure out and stick to what that business would be...this is another fun one.

Here are my top five ideas so far:

A dog grooming business (because the last person that groomed Gatsby totally butchered him..ohhhh how mommy was pissed!)

A pet supply store (after realizing I wouldn't really want to be up to my neck in dog hair all day)

A gallery/art supply store

A coffee shop

A Mexican or Cajun restaurant. I cook both very well :)

AND...FINALLY...


01.
Have a bottle of wine and eat popcorn
(both will take you to a place of supreme happiness AND a literal feeling of floating...you can't really beat that!)