Thursday, March 15, 2007

I'm Confused

The last week has been sort of my head that is. I got the job and I start training Monday, but since finding out the news I'm not even sure I want it any more. Finding childcare has been a pain, and where I want to put Audrey has a waiting list. It's the child care center on post and one of the top child care centers in the nation. I used to work for them, so I know first hand how nice it is. They have a waiting list for full-time care though, and can't even give you an estimate on how long it will be until you get offered care. They offer part-time care but the hours they offer are less than ideal and wouldn't work around Andrews schedule at all. We have a few more small town places, but they really haven't impressed me so I'm hesitant. I love my girls to death and I'm beyond picky, if ya can't tell!

All that mess has me thinking twice about taking the job, and then when I think of all the time I will be giving up it messes with my head too. I'll be working a lot of weekends, a good amount of nights...and who knows how hard it will be to take some vacation if I want too. I don't want to be working if family comes down to see us, and I wanted to be able to drive down to Kansas at least once this year so I could visit those who can't come see me.

I have those reasons, and sometimes I think it's also just cold feet...and maybe it's just all the sudden change that's making me nervous.

As of Wednesday I had said I wasn't going to take the job, but just over 24 hours later I'm not so sure. I can't make up my damn mind, and Andrew really doesn't help much. On one hand he sees how the money will really help us out, and on the other he sees the sacrifice of family time for it, so he's divided too.

Feel free to offer any advice or suggestions. Do you think it's just my cold feet talking?

We are also looking into selling Andrews car (it's paid off) and getting a Toyota Prius. I've mentioned it to him for ages because I love how good it is for the environment, and the 60MPG doesn't hurt either! Andrew's never been too excited about it cause he's always wanted a jeep, but we just recently watched "An Inconvenient Truth" (the documentary about global warming by Al Gore) and it's really got his head turning. Now he's all for the Prius, and I'm seriously impressed!

We test drove a Prius today and let me tell you...that's one bad ass little car. It has a "smart key" that senses when the car is near, so as your walking up to the car, even if the key is in your pocket it automatically unlocks the car. You don't even need the key to start it....theres a little button on the console that you push that starts it. It's crazy shit man. The console consists of a touch screen that controls everything in the dials or anything, plus when you put your car in rear to back up, the console turns into a little TV and the camera that's in the back of the car shows you everything behind you as your backing up. And that's just some of the cool things about nothing like I've ever seen before. One would think it would add up to a hefty price, but on average they are only a little over $23,000, and they come with a $1500 tax credit at the end of the year..not too mention all the money you can save in gas. Up here in NY, it's nice to save some money on gas, cause the prices are high as hell. This summer we will no doubt be tipping over $3.00 again, if not sooner.

They appraised Andrews car really well too, so that works in our favor too. We are trying not to rush into anything though and be wise about it. I can not work and we would be ok financially, but if we took on another car payment, even if it was just $300, I wouldn't have the luxury of not having a job.

In a way, if he gets it though it will help us make up our minds about my job cause we really won't have a maybe that's a good thing. Or maybe it's not. I'll be damned if I know. I need some serious perspective!!


Chaney said...

Ok, here is my 2 cents. We recently went through the same thing actually. I found an AWESOME part time job working for our real estate agent...VERY flexible hours, great pay, my own office, you name it. I started out working around Damon's schedule so he could watch Seth, thinking that would be perfect. Well, Seth cried every time I left, even though he waa with Daddy, and I would call to check on them and they would be having so much fun...without me. It was brutal. Going from being able to do whatever whenever I/we wanted to having a real schedule. I was having meltdowns because I couldn't go bike riding with my family. They were playing outside without me.
It was more than I could handle, so I quit. The extra money was great...better pay than I will likely find again. But Damon was like, it's not worth it if you're not happy. And I wasn't. So, now I'm back to doing whatever I/we want all the time, taking Damon's schedule into consideration of course. And we love it. And somehow, the bills always get paid. Not a ton of extra for fun, but we've learned that family time is really affordable and a great natural high.
I actually get calls from the realtor occasionally asking me to help here and there, and if it works great, if not, oh well.
Moral of my story, your family is number one. You can never get back any of the memories you make just doing everyday things.
Hope this helps you. I know how it is to be on your side of the fence. There have been months that I've considered standing on the corner for money to pay for groceries(not begging either :) )! I keep telling Damon God had to have given me my heaviness for a good reason, I should put it to use! HAHA!
Miss you all. You'll figure out what's right for you.
Lots of love!

poody said...

Ok here is what I think; if you are having second thoughts about the job as it relates to your time with your family you should pass on the job. You will only continue to feel resentment for the fact that it is taking away from your famliy time. Plus, what if Andrew has to go somewhere else then what would happen? Maybe you could get a part time job at a arts/crafts store or maybe there is some sort of city sponsored parks and recreational job you could get during the summer using your artistic abilities. Maybe even work in some capacity for the school system you know like Head Start program or something. The bottom line is the family comes first always and you have such a great one gal. That is my opinion for what iit's worth. Good luck with the decision. P.S. I love those little cars too.

Glenda said...

Hey guys, thanks so much for your thoughts!! I truly appreciate it. As of now I've decided to go ahead an go into training next week, and then talk to them about how the hours will be..then I'll be able to see the whole picture and hopefully I'll get the luxury of having a job and brining in extra money, and not sacrifice to much family time in the meanwhile! A girl can dream right? :)

Thanks again for the comments!

Anonymous said...

Well got to give my 2 cents. I am in agreement with Chaney and Poody. Having more money for some of the nicer things in life is great but are they really important? Is it something you need? Or just something you think is cool and want? Years ago I put Barb and I in deep buying things because I thought they were cool. Did I need them? No! But that did not matter. Today I still look at things that are cool but realize I don't turly need them. Barb is my family, the one closes to me on a daily basic. Today I would not put anything before her. The grand-children we can see that live in Topeka I, we go out our way to make time to spend with them. I lost the childhood of my children so I refuss to lost the childhood of our grand-children.

You are a smart woman. Think about it, as you have and stand by your decision. But give yourself the choice to change your mind later if it doesn't work out. As sometimes we start something and later see its not a good thing.

Love you