Locked Up

I've moved!!

2007-10-09T04:58:00.000-04:00

Join me over at www.movingforward76@wordpress.com -- I needed a change...I've imported all my old posts over there though..so it's like home....but not. Just what I was looking for :)

schedule backwards My ;)

2007-09-18T09:12:00.000-04:00

Only a few days in between my last blog...I'd say I'm improving! I would like to get back to posting almost every day, I just need to get back into the habit and find a good time during the day that I can stick with. Even if no one checks up on it anymore, when I was writing in here more frequently it felt nice to have a place to go and download all the thoughts in my head..among other things.

I'd say the best time for blogging would be after my night shift, about 8:30AM...but that might not be the best thing. Sometimes I'm pretty tired and I might turn out a bunch of illiterate gibberish! It might be my only option though, so I'll have to make it work. Usually I get home around 8:15am and eat breakfast and wind down till about 9am. Then I go to bed till around 3pm when Taylor gets home from school. I wouldn't mind sleeping till 4 or 5 but it's hard going back to sleep after all the commotion with the dogs and crap. So I usually get up and get dressed and head to the daycare to pick up Audrey. She has a blast there and loves it to death, but sometimes I feel guilty for having her there most of the day while mommy sleeps. I shouldn't feel bad, because half the time when I pick her up she's having so much fun she doesn't want to leave..yet my conscience still knocks at me from time to time. I think I just miss her sometimes, imagine that!

Anyway, after I pick her up I come back home and start dinner/ help with homework...catch up on housework. By the time Andrew gets home and we have dinner and clean up the girls have about 45 min left before bedtime at 8 pm. They both have to get up so early in the morning (5:30am) that we make sure they fit in at least 9 hours of sleep. it all makes for a pretty fast night, and time flies, cause at 8pm after we tuck the girls in, I lay down for a nap too. I only get about 5-6 hours during the day, so taking a nap before I go into work helps me not be too tired during my shift. It seriously cuts down on my chill time though...but at least I'm not a complete mess during my shift.

Anyway I better get off here, it's 9:30 and I'm late for bed! I got home a little later today because I was busy at work writing about 10 different reports on a new resident that is a pistol! He made for one interesting morning, I'll say that! I hope tomorrow morning is more smooth....I'm used to the drama, but I'd do without gladly :)

A New Day

2007-09-14T16:52:00.001-04:00

Testing. Testing. Anyone still out there?

Wow. Yes I know it's been a while. Damn it. The days spin by entirely too fast sometimes and in the shadows, left behind, are all the things I cherish, love and enjoy. As I write this though, I'm vowing to get a grip and get back to some of the things that I've let go over the past few months...even year. It's been a inconsistent one, that is for sure.

So heading things off in the right direction...months ago I promised pics from Paris, and FINALLY I'm making good on that promise. It took me long enough, I know.

Anyway, I scanned a handful and I love how they turned out. The look very vintage. Which is good and BAD. Owning pictures that look this old must mean I'm old. OUCH sista!

On to the pics... (click to see them larger)

Me being...Me :) Hiding from a picture! In Paris! The nerve!!

Someone getting revenge and taking my pic while taking theirs..obviously. I swear, it's so much better taking the pics, rather than being in them!

The strip. Definitly intimidating to drive in..not that I tried.

My biggest "man crush" ever. I was completly gaga. And yes I was married at the time..what can I say? I was only 22! hehe - Anyway, as you can see, he wasn't the most studly guy out there, but his personality won me over..and his lips...and smooth scalp. Did I say that? Nevermind. lol. Anyway, I was always trying to sneak pics of him. haha

This is the gang we were with, minus me. Just a random group of soldiers that decided to rent some BMW's and drive up to Paris for the New Year. It was damn cold out there...but the scotch helped warm me up :) I love Andrew in this pic.

McDonalds is stingy

2007-08-21T03:14:00.000-04:00

I'm at work, it's 3am and I'm posting a blog....awesome eh?

It would be even better if I didn't have to pay 2.99 for 2 hours of internet time. McDonalds is right across the street and they have wifi, but it's not free....how lame. I won't be doing this very often, but it's cool every once in a while.

SO yeah, I got the full time position, and I'm officially paid to be a night owl. It's pretty easy money if you ask me. I still need to get in a routine during the day though. It will be easier once Taylor is back in school and Audrey goes to daycare. Right now they're both home with me all day, so I don't get near as much sleep as I'd like too. In due time though.

This past weekend was my first weekend not working in AGES....it was awesome.

Anyway...I need to go do a "bed check"....I have to go look in their rooms every 15 min....fun stuff!

2007-08-08T20:56:00.000-04:00

Laney`s Original Inkblot Test

Outcome C - The Scientist.

Based on the descriptions you chose, you have quite a unique mind. You are creative, introverted, and find it hard to meet new people. You are constantly looking for new methods and ideas, and find excitement in learning.

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

My fingers are crossed!

2007-08-08T20:21:00.000-04:00

Usually I don't have much time on the computer for blogging or emailing after Thursday. When everyone else is gearing up for the weekend, I'm gearing up for a long weekend at work. Fri-Mon my hours are usually so crazy the only thing I want to do when I'm home is sleep!

Last Friday when I went to work I found out that there was a full time position open, Midnight till 8am M-F. I put in for it, and hopefully tomorrow I'll see if I got it. It would be perfect because I'd still put Audrey in part-time care during the day so I could get some sleep, and then I'd always be home for when Taylor got out of school, and to make dinner and all that stuff. Not too mention I'd get weekends off! That would be sweet! Anyway, I'll let you know when I know.

Tomorrow my job has a company picnic thing. All the residents families are invited, as well as staff and our families. They're going to give tours of one of the cottages and have all sorts of games and face painting for the kids. It should be fun, and the girls will get a kick out of getting to see where I work.

There's nothing else going on really. I just re-covered from work yesterday, and today I was out all day registering Audrey for pre-school, getting my hair done, and doing a little shopping...fun fun.

Orange

2007-08-02T00:23:00.000-04:00

What color is your soul painted?

Orange

Your soul is painted the color orange, which embodies the characteristics of balance, heat, enthusiasm, flamboyance, playfulness, aggression, over-emotion, danger, desire, strengthens the ability to concentrate, attraction, adaptability, and stimulation. Orange falls under the element of Fire, and symbolizes glory and fruits of the earth.

Let go of your heart...let go of your head..

2007-08-01T23:47:00.000-04:00

That's some of the chorus to a song by David Gray, called "Babylon II" from his album "White Ladder". I'm currently in love with ANYTHING this man sings. Obsessed actually. This song in particular never gets old to me. "This Year's Love" is another song I can listen too over and over and over...it drives Andrew insane, haha. He hates him.

Also, Colbie Caillat finally has her first album out. I've been a fan of hers for a long time, through Myspace. It's called "Coco" and I know EVERY word to almost every song. I've played it in HEAVY rotation, thank you very much :) I can't get enough of her.

Her official fan site is www.colbiecaillatmusic.com if you want to check her out.

Bzzz Bzzzz

2007-07-26T14:24:00.001-04:00

OK, so I'm a day late. Better than a week huh?

Yesterday we finally cleared the old house, THANK GOD. Handing those keys over felt great! We had just worked our asses off trying to get every little thing perfect over there and eventually it became very annoying to even look at it. How anal does the army want you to be? Care for a few examples? Window tracks is one, our tracks are white and there's about 3 little crevices on them and to pass inspection they have to be spotless with no dust what so ever...corners and all. Sounds easy enough, but it's a pain. Also all our base board heater vents had to be taken apart and wiped down an vacuumed. I cut my finger a few times doing that...the metal fins are sharp! Basically there couldn't be a spec of dust in the place..they even take out the kitchen cabinet drawers and look at the drawer TRACKS for dust! How damn silly is that?!?! The eventual deal breaker was the floors, both bathrooms, the kitchen, the laundry room and the front mud room were all tile and they told us we needed to strip all the previous wax off the tile and then apply 3 coats of fresh wax. Andrew and I got the bathroom floors stripped and we threw in the towel. It's not that it's too hard, but it's very time consuming and we had our inspection coming up in a few days, and we didn't know where we were going to get the time to finish it all. So we found the name of a cleaning team, because if you hire one, when the army comes to inspect your quarters they only look for damages and then the cleaning team is held accountable for the cleaning standards of the place. We figured since we'd done just about everything but the floors we would get a decent rate, but as it turned out we still paid $250...I was not happy. For that rate, I might as well not have cleaned a damn thing, and basically all the cleaning we did was in vain. I had our oven looking new...racks and all....do you have any idea how much I hated doing that? Grrrr. The cleaning team didn't care, but oh well. At least the floors were out of our hands and it made yesterdays inspection go very quick. He checked for damages, there weren't any...we handed over our keys, end of story.

So that's the scoop on the old place. I'm so glad to be done with it. Words cannot express!!

On top of all the moving stuff, Andrew has been in the field this week. It's only till Friday though. I feel like I do nothing but running errands all day and dropping off kids and picking them up. I worked Monday, but supposedly had off Tuesday. We have Cottage meetings on Tuesdays though, so that lasted a few hours in the morning, and then I had to be back for 4 hours that afternoon to get re-certified in CPR and first-aid. I got off work around 4pm and had just enough time to get back to the house, get the girls dressed for soccer and get to their games that night. They were at 2 different times, so I was out there until after 8 that night. Then yesterday Taylor had guitar lessons from 1:00pm to 1:30 and then I had to pick her up and be at the clearing appointment by 2pm. It was a rush.

Today has been chill though, I'm finally catching up on some laundry, and getting the last few boxes unpacked. The only thing on the schedule is soccer tonight, so I can't complain too much.

Oh! Last night Taylor and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie! I waited for Andrew to come home, and then we went to the 10pm showing, so it's wasn't out until after midnight. It's was nice though, and the movie was one of the best yet. It was a definite treat! Well deserved I might add :)

Tomorrow it's back to the grind for me, I always work Fridays, Saturday's and Sundays...and then a few days in the middle of the week. I'm sticking with my job for now, I've gotten used to being called god awful names and having things thrown at me on occasion....sad but true. You can't be the "good guy" and being doing your job right, where I work. Usually if your doing your job well and holding the kids accountable your getting called names and making teenage boys very angry at you. Ah well. Like I said, I'm getting used to it. Sometimes it's even amusing. That's bad huh? ;)

This is getting long so I'd better go. I'll have to try and make a post in the next few days about our new place on post. It's really nice. We have new carpet, nice tiled floors, all new appliances and even new bathrooms. Our place was renovated, so it's the first time EVER we've moved in a place and never had anyone use our kitchen sink before...or our fridge, or stove, and only our germs on the carpet...it rocks!! Anyway, I'm glad I got that out, cause I guess now I don't need to write about it in the next post...it was hard to hold in.

Oh yeah!? Did I mention we even have a garage door opener? Awesome huh? That's a damn luxury for us non-home-owners!

G'night

2007-07-24T22:58:00.000-04:00

Finally got the internet at our new place, so I'll update tomorrow on what's been goin down on my side of town..

I would tonight but I'm freaking tired. The girls had soccer till after 8 tonight and then I had to go to the old house and tie up some loose ends so it's ready to clear tomorrow. Clearing Army housing is no fucking joke..they make it a complete pain in the ass and just plain exhausting. Hopefully tomorrow will be the end of it though.

I haven't even had time to go see the new Harry Potter movie....AND....I have the new book and am only on the 5th chapter. Yes, I'm a dork and a big fan, I'll admit it. So it's pretty damn sad that even Mr. Potter has been pushed back on the priority list! What has my world come too?

Moving on!

2007-07-19T19:54:00.000-04:00

Yes.

It is about time I update my poorly neglected blog!

The house thing fell through. The appraisal came back low and the sellers wouldn't budge the asking price...so at that point there wasn't much left to debate. Everything happens for a reason though, so we weren't to bothered by it. We could have very easily gotten in way over our head with the house, it needed a lot of work and it would have been stressful as all get out.

So that's the scoop on the house.

After it fell through we just happen to come up on the list for housing on post, and we went ahead and accepted it. The past few days Andrew and I have been moving our stuff to the new place. We have all our stuff moved but now we have to clear the other place with housing. Unfortunately we have 3 rooms to paint among other cleaning crap.....

Anyway, we've been swamped. Hopefully by the end of next week things slow down and we have a chance to get more settled in the new house.

I need to get going...but I will say that the new place ROCKS...but more on that later :)

Step By Step

2007-06-05T10:41:00.000-04:00

Soooo....lemme see. What's happened in my world lately? Nothing too drastic, but that's how I like it! We are one step further in buying that house, yesterday the financing was approved by the underwriter...whoo hoo! For a while there, it was a big hassle, and the bank we started out with isn't the one we ended up with, but I like where we are now, so I have no complaints.

I'm excited about buying our first house, but nervous at the same time...plus dreading all the work that's ahead of us if everything does work out. It's worth it though, I just have to keep reminding myself that. Everything good comes at a price.

My job is still a love/hate relationship, but I'm finding out that it's a pretty common feeling in the "working world" so I try to keep my complaining at a minimum. My friend, and ex-upstairs neighbor doesn't have to work though, and I'm pretty jealous and remember those days fondly. It was boring at times, but it was nice having so much time to waste!

In other news my birth father is coming up to see us in a few weeks! He's going to get to see Taylor graduate the 5th grade...which is a pretty big thing in her school, so I think it's awesome he'll be there to witness it all, and plus, Taylor will love it. I have to work some of the days he'll be visiting, but Andrews off the whole time, so it will all work out ok. I can't wait to show him some of Northern NY. Have I mentioned how much I love it up here? I'm sure I have!

Last week I finally pulled out my camera and wiped the dust off of it...it had been a while! We went for a walk and I took come pictures of the town we live in. It's nothing fancy, but I love Carthage so I took all kinds of pictures of some of the local businesses and of other random stuff. I'll post them up on my photo site today or tomorrow, so be sure to check them out. I also have a few more family pics up there that I took last week. I put the site back to being password protected though, so if you don't have it, just send me an email and I'll be glad to pass it along!

Just a lil quiz

2007-05-22T16:33:00.001-04:00

House hunting

2007-05-17T09:01:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my 12 year anniversary! Cool eh? Andrew's actually got the day off too! I don't, but I only work until 1:30 so that leaves us plenty of time to do something special.

We are looking at another house that's right around the corner from our neighbors that used to live upstairs from us. They moved out about a week ago, and it's different not having them right upstairs....sad actually. Who would have ever thought we'd miss upstairs neighbors? They are great people though, and although the house they bought isn't very far away, it's too far in my opinion. So then we found this house that's real close to their house, and we had to do a walk through. It looks decent from the outside and has a awesome back yard, and is on a nice quiet street. Inside...well...that's a whole different story! It needs some serious updating, and looks right out of the 70's in every room you go into, complete with rainbow shag carpet.

There is a lot of work to do in there, and it would have to be little by little. The only plus side to all the work that needs to be done is the price is a lot cheaper than if it was turn-key ready. Once we updated it, we could really turn a profit if we wanted to sell it....although I don't see us wanting to anytime soon.

Andrews regimental Chief Warrant Officer told him that if he wanted to stay in Fort Drum until he retired, that it wouldn't be a problem. So if and when we actually get a house....we could be there for a while. I love it up here, so I wouldn't be complaining either.

So tomorrow, we are going back to the house to measure a few things and make sure our furniture would fit, and if all goes well, we're going to write up an offer and see what happens!

Based on our last experience of trying to get a house we wanted, I'm not getting my hopes up too high, but it would be nice if it all went through ok. Time will tell.

Anyway, that's what little news I have. I've still been working a lot and depending on the day I either love my job or hate it. It's sooo situational. I guess a lot of jobs are like that though!

F

2007-04-26T19:26:00.000-04:00

God. I suck at this blog thing lately.

Hmm. I suck at a lot of things lately.

Like keeping up with family & friends.

I've just been so fucking distracted.

We've been trying to get a house. If it's not one thing it's another though, and I'm losing my faith more each day on it. Which gets me down a little cause I really like the house. It's surrounded by trees, and is down a long wooded road, with almost 2 acres of land. Not to mention the inside, which is really nice. Anyway, I'm done with talking about it, it just gets me thinking about it again...

Besides that...I guess there's not a whole lot to report. I like my job less and less, but it's a job and it pays well, so I'll deal with it for now.

Andrews at a military ball tonight. I chose not to go...never was much for the formal affairs. Instead I went and bought a bottle of wine and am chilling at the house with the kiddies. Much more fun if you ask me!

Not much has changed huh??

Spring snow

2007-04-14T16:39:00.000-04:00

Wow! A new post! Unbelievable huh?

It actually seems like it's been longer than it really has since my last post. So much seems to happen in one day, that by the end of it, it seems more like a week has passed than just a measly 24hrs.

On Easter I worked a double (8am-midnight) so me and the easter bunny didn't get to hang as usual. I ate a decent dinner in our non-secure facility though. hmmph.

Anyway, without getting into a lot of details, the point here is that I work A LOT. Random shifts too....as unpredictable as the weather.

Speaking of weather!! ( nice transition eh?) We've been getting snow for the past 2 weeks. And no, I'm not kidding. We are lucky to get in the mid thirties and for it to be cloudy w/0 sleet or snow. Apparently New York isn't ready for spring yet? I'll be the first to let you know when it is though, so stay tuned!!

Back to work...

Did I say I work a lot already? Random shifts? Weird hours? Yeah?

Like today for example: I worked 7am-3pm and then I have to go back and work midnight till 8am Sunday morning.

Gotta love shifts like that. (but most likely not)

And then today for the first time I was left in charge of a handful of boys that treated me like a substitute teacher...you remember those days, yeah? They were trying to pull so much shit it wasn't even remotely funny. I hung in there for a little while, and then eventually something clicked in my head and I said to myself "Is this how you wanna play? GAME ON " - and for the most part things got better....they still tried to get away with things occasionally, but nothing near what it was before I put my foot down.

It's kinda funny though, because a lot of the kids approach me and ask if "I'm this quiet all the time" and all I ever tell them is that I don't really have anything to say. And it's true. I listen. I learn. If I need to talk I do...and if I don't...I don't. When they tested me today though, and I reacted the way I did, and didn't put up with it, I think they were all a little surprised. A lot of people think that when your quiet, your shy. I beg to differ though, as that's not always the case. I learn a lot from just listening and observing people. More so than if I were to be running my mouth constantly.

Everyday at my job I learn something new about myself...or if it's not new, it's further confirmed. Like last weekend when I spent all my time in the girls cottage, I realized that I'm just not one of those peppy ass females that talks constantly and is excited about anything and everything. I'm just not that easily amused. There was other female staff on shift that blended right in, so it's not an age thing...it's just a certain type of girl/woman. I guess I'm the serious type, not in any stuck-up way, but just more reserved than the average chick. But that's ok. It's not the MOST common thing, but it's not uncommon either..theres plenty of other girls out there like me. We're just a little more rare. Which makes us special BTW ;)

Anyway so that's THAT. And nothing more.

I have this creeping feeling that I've turned this blog into one hell of a boring read...so sorry for that.

PS- Now that I think about it, I should have written about why you NEVER go to the E.R. on Friday the 13th ....cause not only does it take forever to get seen, strange things happen...or gross things...you choose. I pick gross. I know..I was there. Anyway, I should have written about it, cause it would have made for a much more interesting post! Maybe next time. ;)

I Rock!

2007-03-30T19:25:00.000-04:00

This week was intense...that's all I have to say. We had "Therapeutic Crisis Training" all week, otherwise known as "TCI" training. It all built up to a 3 series test today, that had me on pins and needles all week....I was so afraid I'd mess something up and fail. I'd try to remind myself to be confident and stop worrying so much, but it just wasn't happening.

Part of the test was 3 different restraints we had to do without committing any "safety violations" -- we practiced them for 3 days and I was still messing up stupid things. Something as simple as grabbing to low on the wrist is an automatic fail...so I'm sure my nerves didn't help anything. Anyway, my body hurts from all the lunges I had to do while practicing. I'm talking 8 hours of lunges people!! That's some crazy shit.

To keep the story short though, I passed all the tests with no problems, and I even got 100 on the written test! When it was all done and over with I felt so DAMN GOOD..like a thousand bricks had been lifted off my shoulders, and that's no exaggeration!

Anyway, so that was my week. Stressful to say the least. When I got home at night all I wanted to do was sleep and maybe study a little bit. It sucked. B-I-G- T-I-M-E.

I also realized that when it comes to talking about what I went through as a child, as much as I think I'm ok with it...I'm really not. We had an exercise where I thought that it would be no biggie mentioning my past with adoption and foster care, but the minute I started getting into the details, my voice would quiver and I'd start getting all these nervous ticks. It's like, even though my mind was trying to say I was alright with sharing, something deeper within wasn't having it. At least not as cool and collected as I wanted it to come across. Not being able to control it, kinda (really) pissed me off. From now on though I'm staying away from the subject. I had this big idea that me coming from a similar background would some how help me relate to the kids in the home...but over the past week I've realized that mentioning something like that would put the focus on me, when it should truly be on the child, and if I'm going on about my experiences in the system, that's not really helping them as much as me just listening to their personal experiences. Did that make any sense?? Bare with me...it's Friday ;)

And I'm off tommorow! Oh yeah!! I'm going to be living it up, no doubt about it. I won't have another day off until next Sunday...and that's a maybe. So I'm going to cherish it!

Adjusting?

2007-03-26T21:21:00.000-04:00

Right now my new job "training" is kicking my ass. Not that it's overly hard or stressful, I'm just not used to trying to balance work and family time. I've been working a TON of hours, which isn't helping either. The other day I had a shift in the cottage until 10 at night and then had to get right back at it the next morning at 6 am. I know it's not THAT horrible or anything, I'm just not used to it yet, so it's been challenging to touch base with my own children, let alone other people. There are days where I only see Taylor for 30 minutes at best.

Anyway, I'll get off my soap box. I had more to say, but I'm wiped out for the night. I just hope my family out there understands and bears with me for a little while -- as soon as I don't feel so overwhelmed I'm going to get back in the swing of things. (I promise!!) I will be glad when this 3 weeks of training is up and maybe I can have some say in the hours I work...that is FOR SURE.

Anyway..much love to you all, and I'm thinking of you. (Mary & Tim included!) :)

Alarm clocks are EVIL

2007-03-20T04:19:00.000-04:00

Andrew ended up extending his leave until the end of this week, so we could have another week to sort out child care, and yesterday I started "training" - I had to get up around 6am so I could leave by 7:30...my brain just isn't used to getting up that early anymore! I mean, I had to set an alarm clock for gods sake! The travesty!

Today is actually what they call "cottage time" which is pretty much what I'll be doing every day once training is over, it will be my first visit where I'm not observing but actually integrating myself. I'm a tad nervous, but I should be alright.

The thing is, it's 4:20am right now..and I had to get up around 3:50am....EEEKKKK. My shift is from 5:30am- 1:30pm. Needless to say, coffee will be my savior today! I like my Red Machine, but I don't think it's going to do the trick this morning.

Anyway..off I go. Zombie mode back in effect.....

I'm Confused

2007-03-15T23:23:00.000-04:00

The last week has been sort of crazy..in my head that is. I got the job and I start training Monday, but since finding out the news I'm not even sure I want it any more. Finding childcare has been a pain, and where I want to put Audrey has a waiting list. It's the child care center on post and one of the top child care centers in the nation. I used to work for them, so I know first hand how nice it is. They have a waiting list for full-time care though, and can't even give you an estimate on how long it will be until you get offered care. They offer part-time care but the hours they offer are less than ideal and wouldn't work around Andrews schedule at all. We have a few more small town places, but they really haven't impressed me so far...so I'm hesitant. I love my girls to death and I'm beyond picky, if ya can't tell!

All that mess has me thinking twice about taking the job, and then when I think of all the time I will be giving up it messes with my head too. I'll be working a lot of weekends, a good amount of nights...and who knows how hard it will be to take some vacation if I want too. I don't want to be working if family comes down to see us, and I wanted to be able to drive down to Kansas at least once this year so I could visit those who can't come see me.

I have those reasons, and sometimes I think it's also just cold feet...and maybe it's just all the sudden change that's making me nervous.

As of Wednesday I had said I wasn't going to take the job, but just over 24 hours later I'm not so sure. I can't make up my damn mind, and Andrew really doesn't help much. On one hand he sees how the money will really help us out, and on the other he sees the sacrifice of family time for it, so he's divided too.

Feel free to offer any advice or suggestions. Do you think it's just my cold feet talking?

We are also looking into selling Andrews car (it's paid off) and getting a Toyota Prius. I've mentioned it to him for ages because I love how good it is for the environment, and the 60MPG doesn't hurt either! Andrew's never been too excited about it cause he's always wanted a jeep, but we just recently watched "An Inconvenient Truth" (the documentary about global warming by Al Gore) and it's really got his head turning. Now he's all for the Prius, and I'm seriously impressed!

We test drove a Prius today and let me tell you...that's one bad ass little car. It has a "smart key" that senses when the car is near, so as your walking up to the car, even if the key is in your pocket it automatically unlocks the car. You don't even need the key to start it....theres a little button on the console that you push that starts it. It's crazy shit man. The console consists of a touch screen that controls everything in the car...no dials or anything, plus when you put your car in rear to back up, the console turns into a little TV and the camera that's in the back of the car shows you everything behind you as your backing up. And that's just some of the cool things about it..it nothing like I've ever seen before. One would think it would add up to a hefty price, but on average they are only a little over $23,000, and they come with a $1500 tax credit at the end of the year..not too mention all the money you can save in gas. Up here in NY, it's nice to save some money on gas, cause the prices are high as hell. This summer we will no doubt be tipping over $3.00 again, if not sooner.

They appraised Andrews car really well too, so that works in our favor too. We are trying not to rush into anything though and be wise about it. I can not work and we would be ok financially, but if we took on another car payment, even if it was just $300, I wouldn't have the luxury of not having a job.

In a way, if he gets it though it will help us make up our minds about my job cause we really won't have a choice..so maybe that's a good thing. Or maybe it's not. I'll be damned if I know. I need some serious perspective!!

New additions!

2007-03-08T09:26:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, so sorry for that! We've been keeping busy and losing our minds at the same time. (more on that later!)

Anyway, there is so much exciting news around me..that, well...it's exciting!! All my family have reported something MAJOR going on in their life, and it's good things, so I feel grateful that so many good things are going on around me. I am beyond happy for all of them.

I am still waiting to hear back from The Children's Home. I went to the observation last week and really enjoyed it. I had some preconceptions about the type of kids that would be in there, and all of them were shot down. I should know better and I usually try my best not to jump to conclusions about things, and have an openmind..but this time, for whatever reason I had it all set out in my mind. I'm a little disappointed in myself for it, but I learned a little lesson out of it, so that's what counts, right? Basically the boys in there are too smart for their own good, and remind me of Andrew back in the day!

The next day after the observation I called and told them I was definitely still interested in the position, so now I'm waiting for a call back for a individual interview again, and then hopefully after that I can start traning. The human resources lady said she'd be out this week, so maybe that's why I haven't got a call back yet. I'm hoping so. I got evaluated on the....Yay...just picked up a call, and it was her!! She wants me to come in Monday to fill out some papers and talk about starting training! Whoo hoo! Anyway, as I was saying, I was evaluated on my observation, and I was hoping I did alright. The staff on duty had to comment on things like my demeanor and my interaction with kids, and a bunch of other stuff. I felt good about how things went down, it's just as time passed and the more I waited for the call-back I started to doubt myself. Shame on me! I'm glad I can stop wondering about it..and the ball is rolling again.

In other news, last week I posted up Taylor's old Gameboy SP and 6 of her games up for auction on Ebay. She's been wanting a hamster, so she got this idea of selling her Gameboy so that she could pay for it. Andrew and I told her that she could get one, but it was coming out of her pocket. She ended up getting a little over $80 for it all, so this weekend we went hamster shopping! I had never even touched, let alone held a hamster before so the whole idea made me nervous. Andrew owned a few when he was a kid, so that helped though.

We ended up buying a dwarf hamster, which are tiny little boogers. So tiny that the cage she bought for her was way too big, it was one of those with all the fancy tubes. So I looked up dwarf hamsters on the net to learn more about them, and it said they do best in a aquarium, and with at least one tank mate so they wouldn't get lonely! So then Andrew and I got this bright idea for us to keep the dwarf hamster and get her a roommate, and have that in our room, and then get Taylor a regular sized hamster that would go better with her fancy cage! The next day we went and got another female dwarf hamster, and one long haired hamster boy for Taylor.

See? Told you we lost our minds! The tank in our room is set up real cute though. It has a little tiki hut and wooden log in it..plus a few other things, it looks like a little island getaway..I love it. I'm slowly warming up to them too. At first I was scared to even pet them. Anyway their names are Chimi and Changa..hehe...get it?

Taylors little guy is called "Cesar" and we ended up taking back the fancy cage yesterday with all the tubes and shit. The wheel that was attached to it made ALOT of noise and Taylor wasn't getting any sleep at night, and the water bottle was a piece of shit too. So they gave us our money back and we hooked her up with a 20 gallon aquarium meant for a reptile, so it's long and now he has all sorts of cool things and a stand alone hamster wheel that it's ultra quiet.

Besides all the hamster MADNESS not a whole lot else to report. Oh! Monday we went snowshoeing with my neighbor...and it KICKED MY ASS. Taylor was out of school because of snow, so all of us went, including Andrew who pulled Audrey in a snow raft thingy. The snow shoes I wore were way too small, so instead of keeping me from falling through all the snow, they helped me fall through it all! It was a nightmare, cause every time I took a step my leg would fall through and be buried up to my hips, so then I had to lift my leg again only to start over again. It was like walking up steps, but skipping 3 or 4 at a time. It smoked my ass. As soon as we got home I collapsed for a 4 hour nap and when I woke up I could hardly move, my muscles were so freaking sore! They are just now starting to feel like normal again. All in all though, I'd do it again..but with proper snow shoes next time! It was beautiful out there. I didn't bring my camera but I wished I had, although it's a good thing I didn't cause it would have probably got snow all up in it which wouldn't be good.

Anyway, I better go! Pictures of our hamsters coming soon!

As promised!

2007-02-28T22:19:00.000-05:00

So here are some of the pics I've been meaning to get posted up!

I'll start with our new addition, Brie!

Cute huh? I think so anyways.. ;)

And here's some pictures I took of Taylor and her friends art:

"Crazy House" ~ by Taylor

"Seasons" ~ By Heather

This is the picture I took of Taylors art before I cropped it. There's something about it I really like..maybe it's my feet in the picture..I dunno. I love it though..yeah I'm weird ;)

Brie!!

2007-02-28T11:14:00.000-05:00

The job interview went well, although it was more like a orientation, because it was with 2 other women. Basically it was a speech letting you know what you were up against. The lady that ran the interview was very out-spoken and told it like it was. One of the first things she said was "If you're a introverted, quiet, shy type person, this probably isn't the job for you" - which made me smile, because...well...that's me! BUT, when I get around kids I am the exact opposite, and usually come out of my shell. You can't be shy around kids, no matter the age or they will walk all over you.

So even though she said that, I still feel pretty confident in the job. What's crazy is that there's 5 stages to go through before you even know if you've been hired! There's the interview I went to yesterday, and then tonight I have to go to a 3 hour "observation" in one of the cottage's where I have to introduce myself to the kids and meanwhile am evaluated on my interaction with them, among other things. The day after the observation I call the lady from human resources and let her know I'm still interested, and at that time they check my references, my driving record, and all that stuff. When all that clears, and they read my evaluation from my observation & they call me in for an individual interview and they decide if they want me to continue to training. The training program is 120 hours, and lasts 3 weeks. What's funny is that if at any time during the training I feel that the job isn't for me..and I stop going..I don't get paid. You don't get paid until you complete the training. Plus, even after you complete the training, you still may not be selected for the job!

So all of that has got me somewhat anxious, but I'm just holding on to the fact that I have a lot to offer to a job like this, and hopefully they will see that.

The hours weren't as bad as I thought either, because they have all sorts of different shifts, and the only one I don't like is midnight to 8 am. They also have 5:30am to 1:30pm - 8:00am to 4:00pm (the one I really want!) and a few others that go a little later into the night.

The best thing I liked about the job so far is that I'd have a lot of free reign when it comes to the activities with the teens. So if a few wanted to join me in the arts and recreation center for some crazy art stuff..off we go. And the same goes for the computer lab, and all sorts of other things. I'll even get to drive a company van and take them to the movies and a lot of other things like, skiing, camping, white water rafting..you name it. Which is awesome to me, because I'll be getting paid to do some pretty cool stuff. Sure, it won't always be a walk in the park, but as long as you keep an upper hand on the kids, and they respect you, it won't be too hard.

All in all, I'm excited! I hope I like the job as much as I think I will, and that I get it! I won't really know until around April though..which sucks.

Last night, in celebration of my new found job prospect, Andrew and I went out to dinner without the kiddies and then went and got a fishie!! I've been wanting one ever since we've been baby sitting my neighbors beta fish "cheddar" - mainly because his little fish bowl sits in my kitchen and I get used to him being there, and after hes gone I kinda miss having him to look at and stuff. Plus, usually I am what is known as a "fish killer" because aquariums and I don't get a long, and the few times I've tried to start one, the fish always died - but I've learned Beta fish are hardy and you can't kill them as easily as you can others..so this is a plus for me.

Last night after dinner, we went to Petco and I got a female Beta..she is so cute. I will take pics later on so everyone can see! We named her "Brie" because we wanted to name her a cheese like Cheddar was, because if it wasn't for him...I wouldn't have wanted a fish. Silly I know. But so am I sometimes! She's got a cute little corner aquaruim in the kitchen and she loves it in there..she's so active. Much more active than Cheddar ever was. I read up on Beta's though and saw that they like warmer water, so I'm wondering if that was Cheddars problem, because he just has a little fish bowl that isn't easy to stay warm and he didn't move around a lot. I'll have to bring that to my neighbors attention! I can't have Brie's boyfriend getting sick on her..hehe.

New job?

2007-02-26T21:44:00.000-05:00

Saturday I finally got called back on the job application I submitted in December for the Children's Home! Took long enough huh? If it's anything like my last job working with kids, they do a pretty good background check before they even interview you, which can take forever, so maybe that's why it took so long? I have an interview tomorrow and I can't wait to see exactly what hours are entailed and all that stuff. They could very well be looking for someone to work nights or every weekend, and I'm not sure I want to do that. Midnight to 8am shifts suck total ass, and having to work every weekend does too. I'd be willing to do every other weekend, and some nights...so I'm a little flexible, right?

I'm really hoping it works out well though because they pay well, and I really do enjoy working with kids..especially older ones. Most of these kids will have issues and are from broken homes, so that makes me a little nervous, but I'm pretty sure I could tackle whatever they threw at me. After all..I got stories too! And sometimes that can work to my advantage by making me a little more relatable to a stubborn teen.

I looked on their website, and they offer Art Therapy - I want to be in charge of that!! I could totally rock that position!

Just before Andrew came home, my neighbors daughter came downstairs to play with Taylor, and I gave a little "class" on letting loose while painting and just going with the flow. I gave both of them a 8x10 piece of canvas I had to spare, and let them use all the paints I had. It took a little coaxing trying to break them out of the mold, especially Taylor. She wanted to draw a simple tree and a sun scene with flowers, and I had to interject! I told her to break out of the box and just have fun with it. With a little coaching on some techniques and color choices, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE how well they came out!! What was really funny was how each painting reflected their personalities. Taylor is kinda wild and outgoing, and so is her painting..that she titled "Crazy House" -- And her friend, Heather, is very mellow and quiet, and her painting is so serene..color choice, design..you name it. She called hers "The Seasons" and it's pretty damn awesome.

Sometime this week I will have to take some pictures of them and post them up here, cause I'm damn proud of what they both did. And of course...it says something about the "teacher" too!! hehe

So yeah..I would totally love the art therapy job! I'll have to see if they have a particular person who supervises that type of thing...and if so, they better watch out! Cause' I'm coming for their job!

Anyway, I'll have to update after my interview tomorrow and let everyone know how it went! Wish me luck!!

Bloody Onions

2007-02-22T16:18:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe tomorrow is Friday, this week has really flown by. Andrew's been working half days, so maybe that has something to do with it. The first time he left for work, you should have seen poor Ms. Audrey...she was so distraught. She came up to me just crying her heart out and just said "Daddy's gone again!" - it was so sad. She still has a little celebration every time he comes home from work, poor thing. Her little mind just can't quite grasp where her dad goes for such long periods of time.

Anyway..I had to take Andrew to the Emergency room last night. He is so clumsy! He was trying to lend a hand in some Guadalajara Spanish Rice I was making (which is the bomb, BTW!) and went to cut an onion with one of my uber sharp knives, and somehow the knive slipped..fell...and he went to try and catch it, cause he didn't want it dropping on his foot, and it ended up slicing up his ring finger really good. After it cut him, it hurt pretty bad, but he didn't realize how deep it was and how much it was bleeding, so he just shook his hand and kept saying "Owww..damn it!!" and got blood ALL OVER my kitchen. It was gory. But I took him to the ER and they gave him 4 stiches, so for the most part he's all better. Pretty soon he's going to change his bandgage and I wanna get a picture of it...cause I'm sure you guys can't wait to see it!! hehe

I actually watched them stitch him up, I was proud of myself, cause usally blood and cuts make me cringe. At one point Andrew did have to remind me to breath though..he told me the look on my face was priceless.

So yeah..that was our Wednesday night. Fun times. ;)

He's got a pass for helping out in the kitchen for a least 10 days, as well as, no dishes and no shoveling snow -- makes me wonder if he had it all planned out? I told him if he didn't want to help in the kitchen, he could have JUST TOLD ME..hehe.

Am I dreaming?

2007-02-19T15:35:00.000-05:00

So let me see..

We picked up Andrew around 3 am Friday morning, and it was a pretty sweet reunion. I think Audrey is still in dis-belief her daddy is home. Out of the blue she will come up to Andrew and just say "You came back!" -- His first day back she must have said that 10 or more times. Then this weekend we were sitting in the car while Andrew was filling it with gas and Audrey said "Mommy...umm...daddy's back", to which I just said "Yep! Isn't that so cool?" haha.

It's all pretty weird. I catch myself doing the same thing sometimes. We'll be sitting next to each other or he'll be driving and I'll look over at him with a little disbelief that he's actually BACK. It feels like I've been living as a single mother for so long, that this notion of living as a couple again, seems too good to be true!

But it is true, and it's awesome. It's nice to have a real adult around all the time that I can talk with, and who can help out with stuff. I love hanging out with my girls, but some serious adult time was needed too!

Anyway, he's had the whole weekend off, plus today, so it's been nice just hanging out. He has to go back to work tomorrow, but then I think he's getting leave around the 25th for a few weeks. I'm thinking about planning a little mini vacation around that time...maybe to Washington DC, or even NYC...I dunno. Still have to work out the details!

So that's the deal, for all those who may be wondering. I keep waiting to get pinched and wake up...yes...it's that nice :)

Thusdays Confession

2007-02-15T17:54:00.000-05:00

Well, I really can't think of much to confess at the moment, except that I would love to be sipping some wine about right now. I woke up tired, and then did nothing but clean the whole day..still feeling wiped out. So now I'm really tired and just ready to go to bed, and it's only 6 pm.

Anyway, back to the wine. I want some. I haven't been keeping any around the house lately..I don't know what I was thinking.

Andrews flight was pushed back again. (surprise!!!) The stupid ceremony isn't until 2:30 in the morning!!

There's another confession for you - Sometimes I really really hate the Army.

It's going to be a joy waking up the girls at midnight and hauling them out. There's no way they could stay awake that long, so I figured I should just put them to bed like normal, then wake them up in 3-4 hours. At least that way they get a nap in. As for me? I could totally sleep..but I doubt I'll be able too.

Alrighty, now I'm off to go get some wine! (not the kind in the box, Tim!! You need to repent!)

Happy Heart Day!

2007-02-14T23:45:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day peeps! For me it was just another day this year, mainly because of Andrew coming the next day and I have better things to focus on. I usually have lofty expectations of this day, and I've always had this romantic notion in my head of how I would like it to go, but this year, instead of setting myself up for disappointment I just tried to focus on all the good things that were going on in my life right at this moment. And right now, even though I didn't get any of the typical stuff you get for Valentines Day, I know in my heart that I'm loved by Andrew, and others...so there's really no need to prove it in a physical manifestation. I feel loved, and that's all that matters.

So anyway, that's what I'm telling myself to keep my spirits up!! It's totally working.

My phone has been ringing all day, but they were all calls about when Andrew's actually flying in. His flight was bumped, so instead of the ceremony being held at 4:30 PM, it is now estimated to be after midnight..around 12:30..possibly as late as 2 AM. Yeahhhh. That's what I said!! And what really sucks, besides it being late as hell and the kids being walking zombies as we welcome him home, we've also been getting tons of snow all day, around 2-3 feet again, and I'm going to hate being on the roads. I'm going to make it happen though. Andrew said he could get a ride home if the roads are too bad, but I'm not having that...I wanna be there seeing him march his ass in the hangar and clapping for him and all the other soldiers as they are welcomed home..it's the least I can do. So even if I have to creep down to the base at 5 miles an hour..I'll be there.

School was canceled today because of all the snow, so I didn't get things nears as accomplished as I would have liked too, but now I have all day tomorrow, so it's no biggie.

And one more thing before I tuck my butt into bed for the night:

I got "The Secret" DVD in the mail yesterday, and my neighbor and I sat down and watched it this afternoon. Let me tell you...it's some good shit. It really helps change your perspective; It's life changing, and I highly recommend it. HIGHLY. So do yourself a favor and buy it, for a little over $30 you could seriously open up a whole other world of possibilities in your life that before, you've never thought possible. And trust me, you won't want to watch it just once..it's so inspiring, you'll want to watch it over and over again..so it's worth every penny.

Are we on the same page? Yeah? Awesome :)

The Secret

2007-02-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

Whooo hooo! It's Monday! Usually Mondays aren't my thing, but it's one day closer till Andrew comes home, so this Monday is a little different. You understand :)

He should be here late Thursday afternoon if all goes as scheduled. It really can't get here fast enough, I can't wait to see him again, and hug & kiss him. Oh boy! You have no idea. hehe

This weekend was filled with a lot of nothing, I purposely did very little around the house, cause I knew that would force me into a busy week and then the time would pass a little faster. Taylor is home sick today though, both the girls have horrible coughs that never seem to stop. It's driving me crazy actually. Part of me wants to just tell them to STOP COUGHING already!!! The sound of it's getting on my nerves. Now I sound like a bad mom, but I'm not...I promise. I've been faithfully at their side pampering them, and hoping they get better soon. The constant hacking just grates on my nerves. Even as I type this it's hard to really gain any concentration because all I hear around me is coughing...

In other news I have a DVD in the mail that I can't wait to get. It's called "The Secret" and sounds really interesting. Just a few weeks ago I was thinking about my neighbor and how lucky she seems to be. When we go to bingo, I'll be damned if she doesn't win every time. She'll sit at our table and tell us she can "just feel it" that somebody's going to win at our table, and we all kind of growl back at her. But you know what's funny? Somebody does win at our table, but it's always her! So it got me thinking about how her positive attitude may be working for her. I've always thought that thoughts are powerful...on a deep deep level, but this is one of the few times I've seen it so apparent. I credit a lot of the things that come along in our life, to what we've asked for...what we believe deep down, most of the time sub-consciously - those thoughts always seem to form our reality.

So here I was a few weeks ago, wondering what it's all about, and how to get a better grasp into making my thoughts work for me, and then out of no where I heard about "The Secret" and how it's all about the "Law of Attraction", so it sounds very interesting to me. It's another example of the way stuff comes along..sometimes you can really think about something, and ask questions, and then before you know it the answer comes to you in all sorts of different avenues. Anyway, I feel that I have a clue..or a slight idea of how things are run, but it will be nice to see it explained from people that have studied it and made it work to their advantage in their own life.

Basically because I always run into a little problem; I can tell myself I want something until I'm blue in the face, but I don't think it's until you truly believe your going to get what you want, down to your core, that it's going to come to fruition. So my question is, how do you make yourself believe something and get rid of those deep down thoughts inside your head telling you that it's not possible? We've all heard of self-defeating thoughts, and that's what I'm talking about. I am very self defeating for one reason or another, and it always seems that as much as I want something there's always this little voice in the back of my head telling me I'll never get there.

But anyways...you can go HERE to watch the trailer for the DVD - take a minute and check it out and let me know what you think! Personally, I can't wait to watch it, it may not have all the answers, but more than anything I will enjoy the philosophical nature of it...cause I'm always a sucker for philosophy!

Thursdays Confession

2007-02-08T19:53:00.000-05:00

(I think I'm going to start doing this every Thursday..it's fun!)

It's nothing new to Andrew...but for all of you who don't know out there...

I have a "thing" for cute bald guys with goatees. Sit me next to one, and I can't keep my hands to myself..hehe. Ok maybe it's not that bad, but it always gets my head turning.

So now I'm about to sound like I'm 13, and I don't care what any of you think!

Chris Daughtry is so damn H-O-T with a capital H (and O&T) he's got that nice smooth bald head, a wicked goatee and eyes that melt right through to my heart. :) Plus he can sing his ass off. I'm so enamored...

I want a snowmobile!!

2007-02-06T22:25:00.000-05:00

Well the snow kept falling all day Sunday and finally quit around 7pm - school was canceled Monday because of it all. Today everything was almost back to normal, although the roads are still crappy. Tonight we have another Lake Effect snow warning and as I type this it's snowing pretty good outside..so we'll see! I was just watching the news and there was a guy on there talking about how they just got the snow from Sunday under control and they are running out of room to put new snow so he hoped it wasn't too much tonight. Haha...it's true though, the piles around here are so tall that if someone is walking on the sidewalk, you can't see them from the street because the snow on the curb and around driveways is way over their head.

The plus side? I have a little plowed square in my back yard so that the dogs can go out to the bathroom, and it acts like a fence, so we don't even have to walk them out there anymore..we just open the door and they do their stuff. They know theres no way in hell they are getting through all that snow! So yes, that's a definite plus side!! We aren't allowed to install a fence here, so it sucks having to walk them all the time.

Hmm, what else has been going on? Oh! Thursday I went to Sams Club to pick up some of my Red Machine Naked Fruit Juice and found out they CANCELED it!!!!! I freaked out when I didn't see it on the shelf and went to customer service to see what was going on. Eventually they found it in their little book of UPC's and saw that it was canceled. I was heart-broken. You have no idea how much I was craving some of this stuff. They even checked with other semi-local (up to 3 hrs away) Sams Club's and none of them were carrying it either. I walked away with a pout and put in a request sheet in their little box begging them to bring it back. Then I stopped in at a health food store that I thought had it, but they didn't. They told me to leave a note for the manager to see if she could order a case for me. So I did, but I had pretty much given up, I didn't expect it to pan out.

Miracles do happen though!! The manager actually called me Friday and said she could order a case for me!! Whoo hoo!! They are only 15 ounces, instead of the 30oz bottles I get at Sams, but she said a case would run about $30 for 15 of them, and I get a discount for buying a whole case, so it doesn't work out to bad considering what I was paying before. I'd do the math to see if it's cheaper but I'm too lazy..I wanna say it is though, cause before I was paying $5 for a 30oz bottle. But like I said..haven't done the math. Feel free to do it for me!! hehe. I am just so relieved that she could order it and I don't have to live without my Red Machine!!

I'm supposed to be able to pick it up tomorrow, so hopefully I don't get snowed in! Cross your fingers for me!

For any of you that are looking for "Red Machine" and haven't found it, I suggest doing what I did and going to your local health food store and seeing if they could order it for you. Invest in a case, cause I promise you'll like it..and hey, if you don't, just keep it chilled for me when I come visit!! :)

And I almost forgot, Sams now has "Gold Machine" and I bought 6 bottles of it without even tasting it cause I knew it couldn't be bad, and it wasn't, it's yummy as hell too. It has golden kiwi, passion fruit, mango's, and alot of other stuff. It's seasonal so they won't have it long though...the bastards.

Real quick -- back to the snow, it was funny as hell watching all the people who had snowmobiles cruise and race down the streets..they were having a blast..I was totally jealous. My neighbor ventured out Sunday cause they have a truck and 4WD (unlike me) and they said they passed McDonald's and there was nothing but snowmobiles in the parking lot! Tell me thats not funny. You know Northern NY gets a lot of snow when a 3rd of the population own snow mobiles and there's lanes just for it, as well as marked trails for them. Like I said..I want one!!! That would be so much fun!! To bad they are so damn expensive.

Ok, so that's all for now. It's getting late and my bed is calling me!

P.S. - Andrew won't be here on Valentines Day..his flight got pushed back again. :( He said it might get bumped up again, but not to count on it. BLAHHHHHHH.

My First Blizzard... (awwww)

2007-02-04T09:13:00.000-05:00

Oh MY GOD...

Yesterday I took pictures of all the snow we've been getting..cause it's quite a bit in my definition. We got at least a foot and a half yesterday.

So here are the pics of that:

But all that was NOTHING!!! Cause look what we woke up too!! Trying to take some of these pictures, as I was standing in it, it was past my waist! And I am not a short person..at 5'6 I'm pretty average. You can barly even see across the street, and even as I snapped the pics, it's was still snowing away....the weather man said 5-6 inches an hour for MOST OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Now this is what I call SNOW!!! I am speechless!!

**UPDATE** It's about 4 pm and it's still snowing. I think we're up to about 3 1/2 FT now, with a possibility of 5 FT by morning..It's a good thing Andrew's not flying in anytime soon, cause I wouldn't be able to go get him! I heard last night a flight came in around 11pm and after the ceremony and everything it was almost 1am and a lot of the people couldn't get off post. That would suck big time. Anyway, check out my PHOTO ALBUM for some more pics of the snow!

Mighty Lemon Drop

2007-01-31T19:14:00.000-05:00

I should have known better than to put a date down...

Now it's the 14th - so hopefully he'll be my Valentines Day present! Or me his.. ;)

One of the first lessons I ever learned about the Army was that they don't "do" schedules; or they stick to them very loosely. Things happen and there's a lot of things that can alter situations that one thinks are in "stone."

Anyway, it's all good because I went out today and got the necessary ingredients to get this drink I saw them make on the Food Network a few days ago. Lately I've become a Food Network WHORE ...half the time when I get a minute to sit down and watch something on TV, there's SHIT on, and so I end up watching people cook & eat shit/stuff/food - it's better than eating it all myself right? Half the time what they cook is WACK but it's still fun to watch. I've picked up a few recipes along the way and one of them is the "Mighty Lemon Drop", which is an alcoholic drink that actually does taste a lot like a Lemon Drop.

I went to the Class Six (what us military folk call a liquor store on post) today and got all the yummy stuff to make it and these cute little martini glasses that only cost $4. Mainly because I want to mix one up for Andrew when he gets home, cause he loves all things lemon. Or at least I told myself that, ha! Of course, I had to try it out! And it is certifiably YUMMY.

Blogging while sipping on my "Mighty Lemon Drop"...can't beat it really...

It's so nice I had to take pics of my beautiful concoction. :)

12 Days

2007-01-30T15:50:00.000-05:00

Cool pictures huh? That's a piece of Andrews equipment being sling loaded...it's the whole reason why he's going to be home a little later than the other soldiers. He had to see this piece safely on a ship and headed home before he could come home. Don't ask me what it is, but it's something to do with communications. He wouldn't go into the details with me...probably because he knew I wouldn't remember anyway, and also that it's a "sensitive" item, so he didn't want to give me all the details to blog about. Beware of the wife that blogs!!! haha

In just 10 days he'll be on his way home, and in about 12 days we'll be heading to a ceremony to welcome him back! I can't wait. Well, for the ceremony I can - I really don't like those things. Even thinking about them gets me emotional. There's just so much anticipation, and no matter how hard you've tried keeping it together while their away, all those feelings come rushing back while your waiting for them to march through the door and and see them line up in formation. It's a lot of excitement and RELIEF as you try to pick your soldier out of the crowd. I usually lose it and my heart physically aches to see him again. Last time around I had his family with me, so it was easier to distract myself..I won't have them this time, but the girls and I will make the best of it. I hinted at Andrew that I didn't want to go, but he said if I didn't go that I should call a lawyer..hehe. He was kidding (I hope!) but it does mean a lot to him, he said that it would totally suck to see everyone else hugging their loved ones and him not being able to do the same thing. So that made me feel like an ass for even suggesting not showing up.

Last time it was a pain in the ass finding him, cause they tend to all look a like when they're in uniform, so this time we've devised a plan to buy some bright orange balloons and have signal flags drawn on them so he can see where we are above the crowds of people. Smart eh?

Today he offically lost his room and moved to a tent..he said he was looking forward to it though - He's complained about his room being cold for some time now, and his new neighbors have been rude. The only thing that sucks about it is that he loses his internet unless he goes to an internet cafe, so we probably won't talk (chat or email) often..if at all, until he gets home.

And as far as things go here...well, it will be like waiting for Christmas morning when you were a child. 12 days seems like forever, even though I know it will be here in the blink of an eye.

I <3 Red Machine

2007-01-26T21:49:00.000-05:00

I came across Naked Fruit Juice at Sam's Club one day. They sell 2 large bottles of the "Red Machine" for $10 and the bottle says there's 4 lbs of fruit in each bottle. It's a natural blend of strawberries, raspberries, cranberries, pomegranates, oranges, bananas, red grapes...and they even added some flax seed and some red sea algae for good measure. With all that stuff in it, I'll admit..the first time I had a glass, I was a little scared to take that first sip!

After I tasted it though I wished I hadn't waited so long to try it - this stuff is f*cking delicious! So delicious that it was imperative I put the "f" word before the delicious part, no kidding! I'm not even a fruit smoothie person, but after drinking it I don't think I can claim the same. It's seriously addicting - I usually have a cup in the morning and it works as good as coffee ever did for me, as far as alertness, and it fills me up, so it's a good breakfast. Or late night snack. Or whenever you feel like a tasty treat :)

Right now I am out of it and totally pining for it - so much so, that I had to come here and write about it! Hopefully some time this weekend I'll make it out to Watertown and stock up again. It's a bit of a drive, so I get at least 6 bottles each time.

So if anybody out there likes smoothies, you should check it out. You won't regret it. And even if your not a smoothie person, try it anyway! It's fiercely tasty! Not too mention VERY good for you.

They have a lot of different kinds of juice and each has their own "family" - Red Machine is part of the "Superfood" family (they also have Blue Machine, Green Machine and a Purple Machine) - Each family caters to different needs or tastes...for example:

The "Antioxidant Family"

The "Energy Family" (Which has, Orange Mango Motion & Strawberry Kiwi Kick ! I really wanna try these out!)
The "Protein Family"

The "Well being Family"

Sams club is missing a few I want to try, which is kind of a bummer, but we have The Mustard Seed that carries them, so the next time I'm out that way, I'm going to stop in and see if they have a larger variety. For now I'm good with Red Machine though..so I haven't been rushing!

Anyway, here's some of the nutritional info for Red Machine (if you can see it - it's kinda small) - And I hope you enjoyed my product endorsement for the week! I seem to be doing a lot of these lately..ha. You can also look more into the juice @ www.nakedjuice.com

(click on the image for a larger version)

-25? Seriously?

2007-01-25T22:10:00.000-05:00

{{{{Brrrrrr}}}} Doesn't quite cover it. It's -5 degrees outside now, and dropping steadily for an expect low of -11 tonight, with a wind chill that will feel like -20 to -25 degrees. Now thats cold! We have a "severe weather warning" out until noon tomorrow, just because of the wind chill, that advises if you go outside to have all of your skin covered. Bring out the ski-masks! Geez louise...

Wednesday we had a lot of snow, we got around 14 inches in less than 4 hours...oh yes...it's the "Lake Effect" - the snow flakes were freakin huge!

So yeah, NY doesn't play around with winter! Oddly enough I still like it here, even with all the cold and snow. I might be needing to get my head checked soon! haha

My neighbors (the ones living upstairs) are the BEST though - her husband plows my driveway every morning, and the other morning he even plowed out a good size square in my back yard so the dogs could go to the bathroom without getting lost in all the snow. How nice is that? Maybe I should just marry them both? hehe

So tragic

2007-01-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

A lot of soldiers from the 10th mountain/3rd Brigade combat team have been returning to Fort Drum the past few weeks. Just today 200 soldiers returned...which is always nice to see. But then today we hear on the news that some of the soldiers that came back today will be going right back to Afghanistan within the next few days and that their tour has been extended another4 months! Them and a lot of the soldiers that thought they were days from American soil will all be extended. 3500 total.

It's a damn shame. To me it's one thing to be sitting over in Afghanistan and get your heart broken when you learn you won't be coming home as soon as you thought...cause it's sad...but it happens alot. Andrews first tour in Iraq was extended and he ended up being out there for 14 months instead of 12. It sucked, but I think I would rather have it that way, then to have gone to a re-deployment ceremony and been so happy to have him home again....those ceremonies are wild..you can't imagine. Dads seeing their babies for the first time, every one is so emotional, including all the kids who missed their mother/father so much. And then to learn later that night, after you thought you were home for a while, that your going to be on the next plane back? Oh man. That's enough to throw in the towel and take the consequences if you ask me! It's got to be so hard on them...I truly sympathize.

Andrew isn't in the 3 rd Brigade, so hopefully it doesn't happen to him. I will be crossing my fingers. I know he would be pretty tore up if it did get extended till June. Not too mention me. I've been falling for months now..it's the last thing I want to hear. So here's to the 277th Aviation Support Battalion making it home as scheduled! Positive thoughts people....positive thoughts...

And sorry if I sounded like I was having a pity party in my last entry about thinking I was boring. Maybe the word is dull? I dunno. I can be interesting....if your the kind of person who likes to take some time to get to know someone. I just don't wear it all on my sleeve, so I think sometimes that works against me?

Burned-out

2007-01-23T13:44:00.000-05:00

Once again, it's been over a week without a post. Last week was full of ice and sick kids and hormonal downs so I didn't bother in sharing.

The truth is I've become very apathetic with almost everything. I don't have "ups" and I don't have "downs" - everything just is, and there's not much that gets a rise out of me. Even when something does, my brain decides it takes too much energy to worry about it, so it quickly flattens whatever is bothering me out and puts it back on an even playing field. Some might say all this isn't a bad thing, but in a way, I think it is. It's horribly boring for one. It makes me a boring person, even to myself.

Have you ever looked at people in a social situation and noticed how some people are the life of the party, and how others thrive off this energy and generally join in happily with conversation? You can start with one person, and from that it can get the whole thing flowing, until you have a nice little "party" going on..it's as if the energy is contagious.

I've seen it many times, but with me it's different. I want to join in all the fun, but it's like all the energy bounces off me like the same sides of a magnet. So I generally sit there, listening, the occasional smile...trying to loosen up? Wanting to be as cool as some of the people in the room, but it's just not to be.

It leaves me with the conclusion once again, that I really am a boring person. I guess it depends on the crowd you get me in, if it's one of politics and heated debates on religion...well...I can come to life. But when it's just everyday stuff, and nothing in particular, I fail. Miserably.

And then I wonder why there are few people that I can call "friends" - why have a boring friend when you can have one full of zest and passion, who lets you feed off their energy?

I want to think it's just a temporary thing, and one day I will rise and be the one people migrate too. I don't think it will happen though - solely, because not only do I bore people, but deep down I push them away too. Just when you think I might be interesting, you won't hear from me for days...weeks...cause something in me pulls away. I have no idea what it's about, but it's definitely a habit of mine.

Anyway, on a lighter note, Andrew will be home in just over 3 weeks. I am looking forward to it...maybe he can shake me out of my apathy. Wake me up or something, cause I feel like I've been asleep at the wheel for some time now.

Are you burned out?

Take this quiz and see.

I am - without a doubt.

Ask And You Shall Receive

2007-01-12T21:46:00.000-05:00

I have the worlds BEST neighbor. PERIOD.

At some point yesterday she read my blog and read what I wrote about the chocolate, so this morning she went to "Carthage Fine Chocolates" and hand picked me a box of chocolates!! Tell me that isn't the sweetest thing ever! No one has ever bought me chocolates before, so I think I may have to marry her. Or at least get engaged..I dunno. hehe. You just don't find people like her too often.

Then I went to Sam's Club this afternoon and guess what I found..ok don't guess, I'll just tell you. There mixed upon random bags of candy was a super special bag of Hersheys chocolates that were 60% cacao and individually wrapped in little squares, with 2 flavors, "Special Dark" and then "Special Dark with Almonds, Blueberries and Cranberries". For a fairly large bag it was only $8, so I had to get it, and I'll be the first to say they are DELISH. Plus it's easy to not go overboard with them since they are individually wrapped and also very rich.

One just might say I'm in chocolate heaven right about now!

** CORRECTION - I think Dwain might have given me chocolates last year around Valentines Day....I know he gave each of the girls some, so he probably gave me some too, I just have a awful memory. So it's not the FIRST time I've gotten chocolates - but one of the very few times I have..so I still have to marry her. ;)

Chocolate!

2007-01-11T13:37:00.000-05:00

I'm sure everyones heard that a nice "dark chocolate" is good for you, in moderation of course. It seems chocolate has specific "flavonoids" that when consumed, cause the antioxidant status of your blood to increase. This rise in antioxidant levels helps protect us from damage to the heart and blood vessels, while it also guards our DNA from damage that can lead to cancer. Chocolate can also improve the flow and function of blood vessels and help control inflammation in your body. Doctors recommend a daily glass of red wine for the same reason and it's why books/TV shows usually say "Have a glass of wine OR a small piece of FINE chocolate for the antioxidants."

As you all know, I'm all about a glass of wine, so I've never really looked into the chocolate thing. Problem is I'm not really a red wine fan, so today I went looking online for what exactly a "FINE CHOCOLATE" is.

I would have never guessed it was such a huge ordeal! I found a site called Seventypercent.com that basically reviews different types of chocolate with cocoa levels of 50% and beyond, which are the types of chocolate thats supposed to be healthy for you.

According to their site a "fine chocolate" is:

When we refer to 'fine chocolate' we mean good, dark, strong chocolate made from high quality ingredients. We call this kind of chocolate 'fine' to distinguish it from the many candy bar products that are also called chocolate, even though cocoa may only be present in a small percentage in the coating of the bar.

There's no 'industry standard' official term that means better quality chocolate, but we like to use 'fine chocolate' to mean any chocolate made with a good proportion of cocoa solids - 50% minimum for dark chocolate. We also think a fine chocolate should consist only of the basic natural ingredients of chocolate - cocoa, cocoa butter, sugar and sometimes real vanilla and soya lecithin as an emulsifier.

Ideally, a fine chocolate would be one made from a carefully selected blend of 'flavour' beans and would be made with care and love by manufactures concerned about taste and quality.

So like I said earlier, they also offer reviews, but I'm too lazy to go through all of them, so I just picked a few brands that were on the top of their list and then went searching for places to actually buy the chocolate, because their site has a store but it's based in London so everything is in pounds and thats too complicated for me, not too mention, shipping would be a bitch!

Instead, I googled a some of the names, and came up with a few places to buy "fine" chocolate bars. One of them was http://www.worldwidechocolate.com/ - but after looking around a bit, I thought it was hella pricey so I looked some more, but unfortunately they are all about the same price.

I'm talking no less than $8 to over $20 for a SINGLE candy bar!! For that price I was hoping the bar would be the size of my laptop or a large dinner plate? I dunno. It's not though, it looks to be thinner but around average length of a supermarket candy bar.

One of the highest rated chocolates is "Amedei" and I found it on Amazon.com from $12 to $20.

So now I have to ask myself if I really want to pay $12 for a chocolate bar. Part of me does, just so I can taste what these people are talking about, and then of course for the health benefits.... but to be truley honest, I'm more likely to buy one based on my curiosity of the taste!

It would suck to spend $12 and not like it though, which is a strong possiblity because from what I've read, they take a lot of the good stuff out of it like sugar and milk! Milk chocolate doesn't have the health benefits though, which bring me into a whole other rant about our media and them only giving us a fraction of the story. They tell you to eat some fine chocolate, but they don't even bother going into what classifies as a fine chocolate, or where to get them..etc..etc....which is lame. It's telling you a story but not really giving you any sort of ending, so most of us don't do much with what we hear or we do the wrong thing and think they are talking about a Hershey bar, and totally miss the point.

Errr. Anyway, maybe I will splurge on the $12 candy bar, but I'm not quite sold. Totally considering it though, just so I can see what all they hype is about! I'll definitely update here if I do :)

Artwork & Bathrooms

2007-01-10T11:30:00.000-05:00

My paintings and bathrooms seem to go hand in hand lately. The trend started when I did 2 small pieces for my neighbors bathroom, and then my brother bought his wife, Chaney, "Java" and she liked it so much she wants me to make something for one of her bathrooms in her new house. I have yet to get to that, cause we are still working on colors, but now I've gone and painted something for my bathroom. At least they have a place, right? When else can you sit and truly look at a painting without distraction? hehe

Anyway here's some pics of my latest and also a glimpse of my bathroom. Don't deny it..I know you've always wondered what it looks like. I mean it's my bathroom..how much more interesting can you get? We actually have 2 bathrooms, one is off the main hallway, and the other one (the one I'm about to show you) is off my bedroom. Speaking of the other bathroom, I did a painting for it too. I almost forgot about it. It's basically a kids bathroom, with frogs and fish and stuff, so I painted a picture of a turtle in the water and a frog sitting on top of the turtle fishing, with a dragon fly in the air. It's cute.

So on to the fun stuff:

This is my bathroom from the door (obviously)

This is the painting in full sunlight, so the colors are more accurate, then if I had taken it with a flash:

And this is the wall it's on in my bathroom, taken with a flash, so it sort of yellows it, but you get the point! Notice my most favorite towels ever :)

There ya go. My bathroom. Like I said yesterday I kept it "light" on purpose so that it doesn't seem so closed in. Usually I don't do the whole flowers in the bathroom thing, but I was at the dollar store and saw a neutral shower curtain for $10 and couldn't resist. It's not exactly my style, cause that would cost way more money (think WEST ELM), but for now it works and serves its purpose!

Already??

2007-01-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

I've been slacking lately, but I'm going to try and get back into the blogging thing AS OF NOW. Sound good to you? Yeah me too.

So anyway, let me start by talking about Taylor, cause lord knows she gives me things to talk about. You want a sure sign that your getting old? You say -"kids sure are growing up fast these days" - which is what I say about Taylor, and it's a sure sign I'm on my way to some sort of geriatric play ground!

She is just so "fashion forward" but I guess so are the dolls they play with now days. ( saying "now days" is another sure fire sign your getting old) That and I swear I didn't care about boys when I was her age. (Oh god.."When I was her age" there's another one!)

We have family night on Friday nights, where basically she picks a movie and we have take out or her meal of choice. Well, a while ago we watched the Titanic, which she didn't really want to watch but I made her because I thought it might give her a glimpse into some history and all that stuff. You know what she got out of it??

"Leonardo Dicaprio is CUTE mommy!" and now she's constantly asking to watch it again...JUST to get a glimpse of his cuteness! It's horrible!! And this past family night we watched "The Beach" just cause it had him in it. Guess what's for next week? Romeo & Juliet circa 1990 something, that has him and Claire Danes in it.

I have nothing against him, it's just I'm in disbelief I've reached this stage in life where my daughter is starting to notice cute boys! Uggg! How scary! Not to mention all the boys who notice HER. I think I'm going to have to lock her up soon, thats all there is to it! hehe

Then tonight we were looking on Ebay for shoes, and I ended up caving in and bidding on these boots for her:

She's totally going to be one of those chicks that has 200 + pairs of shoes in their closet. These boots put her under a spell and she kept telling me how she would wear them, and what clothes she'd wear them with, and she would take good care of them..yada yada yada. I don't know where she gets it..cause I'm the last person to care about shoes, or whats "in" or "out" - but yet she was in my ear telling me how they "were SO in" and how much she loved them.

I won them for $16 so I can't complain too much. We saw them when they had 6 minutes left, so I waited to bid on them until they were under 2 minutes. It's a good strategy because by the time I bid, theres usually not enough time for someone to try and out bid me. Anyway, my waiting was killing her because she thought for sure I wasn't going to get it submitted in time. But I did..and mommy rules. I keep trying to tell her this. One of these days she'll just accept I rock, and there's nothing she can do about it! hehe

Anyway, on a different note, I finished a painting...which I haven't done in what seems like forever. It's pretty I think, and works well in my bathroom. I recently over hauled my bathroom because it was getting on my nerves. I usually go with rich colors like golds and deep reds, and I had a shower curtain like that in there, but it was doing nothing but making my bathroom seem smaller and MORE out-dated than it already is. Being in the military, and living in housing, you kinda have to work with what you have and it's not always a lot. Our bathrooms here are pretty ugly and simple. My whole cost of the make-under was only $10 though! Can't beat that! I got a simple cream shower curtain that has a few vines and flowers on it, and then basically took a lot out of the bathroom, giving it a spa like appeal. It's very minimal and clean looking, and it relaxes me. So my painting blends in well with the whole feeling. I'm planning on taking a few pics tomorrow of it, so cross your fingers on me following through! I still need to post the pictures from Paris that I promised about a month ago. Eeek.

Like I said though, I'm getting back on the blogging wagon. Or trying my best to anyway. :)

Tardy

2007-01-05T10:07:00.000-05:00

It's Friday again! Whoo hoo!

Haven't been up to posting lately. I dunno what the deal is.

I went to bingo last night..and whewwww...it must have worn us out. Taylor forgot to set her alarm clock and none of us woke up until 9am. School starts at 9:10 - so needless to say, Taylor was late for the first time in I don't know when. Audrey is usually up by 7am so it's not a problem, but she was crashed too. We got back around 10 last night, so they went to bed later than usual. Maybe that's what happened? Or maybe the bingo really did kick our ass? I'm not getting that old am I? hehe.

Anyways, I'm still catching up from a late start this morning..more later!

Happy New Year!

2006-12-31T19:43:00.000-05:00

Here's to wishing everyone a happy new year.

What do you hope 2007 will bring to you?

I have a lot of goals in mind. Time will tell if I put those goals into action. There's still so many variables out there that could influence things one way or another.

New years offer a fresh start though, so that's on my side. I've always thought it interesting how we reserve fresh starts for New Years Day though..when we could just as easily begin each new month that way. I know, I know .... it's just not the same.

Anyway..

Happy New Year!

Don't call..I'll be in bed ;) -- I don't want to start 2007 with a hangover and all strung out. It just wouldn't set the right "tone".

Sharing The Wealth

2006-12-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

Wow! Is it Friday already? Damn, time flies. I've been so busy I lost track of the days there for sec.

Ha. I wish.

I've got a bottle of good wine and I'm looking forward to sitting in my recliner, playing the DS/reading a book/watching a movie and bringing in the New Year with Taylor. I hear it's the trend now days. ;)

My mother-in-law bought me THIS COOL BOOK for Christmas, and I'm learning all sorts of interesting facts from it. Like how after you poop you shouldn't wipe your butt with toilet paper, but instead with flushable wet wipes LIKE THESE. The book asked what you would do if you got poop on your finger. Would you just wipe it off with toilet paper? Probably not, right? So it said you should give your butt the same respect. It's better for hygiene.

You wanted to know that didn't you?? hehe. So goes my life. Come enjoy me in my suffering.

It is a good book though. You should look forward to me sharing more interesting stuff in the future as I learn more from it. I have more cool facts now, but I think I'll work it in slowly..I don't want to overwhelm anyone, hehe.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-25T14:31:00.000-05:00

"Santa" was very good to the girls this year, so this morning was a lot of fun. We got woke with a call from Andrew, which was awesome. He only gets 10 minute "moral calls" so we didn't get to chat long, but he was on the phone long enough to hear Taylor's reaction from her presents from Santa, and also hear them both open up the presents he sent home for them.

"Santa" got Taylor a Nintendo DS that she never thought she would get, plus a few games for it. It was all tied together with ribbon and set near the tree. She literally started shaking when she saw it..I swear she was about to cry! Andrew got to hear her reaction too..which was really nice.

Taylor got a lot of other really nice things, but all day she's just been repeating how she can't believe she got a Nintendo DS. I asked her "what about all your other cool presents?" and she said.."I'm in shock mama! I knew I was good this year..but I didn't think I was THAT good!" - She's too funny. Right now she is playing Sims 2 on the computer because she also got an expansion pack for it, and she loves dressing up her sims and making them look all fancy and taking them out shopping. She is such a girly girl! I have no idea where she gets it..cause she didn't get it from me!!

While she's been doing that I've been toying around with her DS - and man..that thing kicks ass! She has Super Mario 64, and it's almost identical to the Super Mario game that was on the Nintendo 64, and I used to love playing that game. Needless to say, if I get bored while she's in school I'll be picking it up! Haha, well probably not too much. Audrey doesn't let me get bored to often.

Speaking of Audrey, she is in heaven too. She wants to put half of what she got in the water table..it's funny. Oh, and she wanted to get in it, and was pretty dissapointed that wasn't going to happen. I took some good pictures of her playing with it and a few other toys, so I'll have to post them a little later.

So all in all it's been a good day. It hasn't felt quite as good as I was hoping for, because I was hoping to be so distracted with things I wouldn't miss Andrew not being around as much. Unfortunately the more cute moments I see, and as I begin to cook dinner for tonight, it just really makes me sad that he's not here to see it and enjoy this day. To say that we "miss him" is a gross understatement. ..but let me get off that subject before I get too emotional!

I need to check on the turkey and I don't want to dry it out so I better go! (yes, I said TURKEY! It's a free-range..and not a Butterball..so I caved!) It should be a scrumptious dinner..yummm.

Once again..Merry Christmas!!

T'was The Night Before X'mas..

2006-12-24T22:31:00.000-05:00

Well it's almost 11pm on Christmas Eve night and the girls have been in bed for about an hour, but as of 10 minutes ago Audrey was still getting out of bed and creeping down the hall inventing silly excuses for why she was up. I'm hoping she'll stay in bed this time and go to sleep because I still have a few presents to wrap and even more to put under the tree before I turn in.

I can't wait until tomorrow morning and both of them have new toys to entertain them. They have been driving me up the wall and Audrey needs some more age appropriate toys. She has outgrown a lot of what she has now and doesn't even look at half of it anymore. Tonight I let them both open 2 presents, a pair of jammies and a toy. Audrey got a Melissa and Doug wooden tool box with all kinds of cool things to tinker with, (pictured above) and Taylor got a gameboy game from her Nana. Tonight became a lot more peaceful after that!

A lot of what I bought for Audrey was Melissa and Doug stuff, if you've never heard of them, they offer a lot of classic toys that are sturdy, mostly made of wood, and they come at a very good price.

Anyway, I know she'll be more than entertained tomorrow, so I can't wait!

Now if she would just stay in bed, I could get on with things! She's been up 3 times since I started this post. The turd. I also have a water play table I need to set up before I go to bed, so she needs to go catch some z's so I can start working on putting it together..I'm hoping it's pretty easy.

Oh, and at the moment I am watching "Love Actually" ...which I have on DVD and absolutely love. It's a great movie for the holidays and always lifts me up. It will do a good job of keeping me awake while I wait for the girls to fall in a deep slumber. I miss the days that they had their bedrooms upstairs..let me tell ya. Having us all on one floor really cuts out some privacy.

Anyway. I hope everyone out there is having a nice Christmas Eve, and has a Merry Christmas! I am going to make the best of it and make a delicious breakfast for the girls and I, and have a nice traditional dinner. I will miss Andrew sorely but there is also so much to be thankful for and enjoy, that I won't let it be a bad day. We have 2 beautiful girls, a pretty Christmas tree with lots of presents underneath it, good food, nice things...and the list goes on. Not too mention Andrew will be home in about a month and a half!

Chin Up

2006-12-22T13:21:00.000-05:00

OK, so I really feel the need to get past my last entry and my mathematic mistake. It was such a huge oversight, it apparently burnt me to the core. I hate feeling stupid. But anyhow, it's hard to fathom how much a billion dollars is actually worth though unless you really stop and think about it, which I didn't really.

But now I know that 500 people could each have a billion dollars, but certainly not 300 million of us. Anyways, I should stop talking numbers before I put my foot in my mouth again..as it's entirely to easy for me too on this subject.

Has anyone seen the shit all over the news between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell?

This is why our nightly news has turned to shit...well all "news media" actually. Out of all the other things going on in our world that actually need to be talked about and brought to our attention via the nightly news, they choose to talk about them two trash talking each other. It's lame.

What's wrong with keeping that on Entertainment Tonight, or the Insider? Cause there are shows out there specifically designed to talk about celebrity gossip, so why not keep it there?

I dunno it just annoys me, I don't like celebrity's making national news on all the networks, and even CNN. I like hearing about it, to a certain extent, I just have my preferred methods of coming across it.

That being said..as much as I really don't like Rosie, little by little I guess I'm warming up to her. She's just awful crass, so it's taking me a while. She took shots at Donald but they were mostly about his actions, and he went the whole other route by calling her stupid, ugly and fat. That's just cheap in my opinion. Low blows from someone grasping for anything they could get a hold of and it lacks class for someone of his caliber and supposed success. He puts himself on such a high pedestal he might as well communicate that way too.

Choosing between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump is like choosing an honest politician though..it's all about choosing the lesser evil - I value people who have class, not on the outside, but on the inside. In that way, I'm a bit of a snob, but we all have our downfalls right? Trash belongs on the curb or recycled, not coming out of our mouths and actions.

Don't ask me why I felt the need to share that. Boredom I think.

Yesterday I detailed my car, and it's sparkling inside and out, so I really don't plan on going anywhere for a while cause I want it to stay looking polished (you think thats weird?) Plus, there's nothing but icy rain forcasted until Sunday, so not like I would like to be driving in that anyway. I don't even need anything if I did want to go out, so the girls and I will basically be counting away the seconds until Christmas is here and we have new toys and stuff to play with. I don't think I got any toys but I look forward to playing with their toys, hehe.

Anyway the bottom line is that I will probably be going stir crazy very soon. Taylors out of school until the 2nd of January, and all my neighbors have left town until after New Years...so that pretty much cancels out any human interaction for me with anyone above 10.

Even if I blog, all you guys will be so busy hanging out with your family it's not like your going to have any reason to be hanging on the internet. Like me. BLAH.

Not letting it get me down though. Well, at least not yet. I have too much time ahead of me to let it start chewing at me already!

I can't think of a title...cause I'm rambling too much

2006-12-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

This week has been busy, so I guess that's why I haven't posted? I think it's like that for a lot of people out there though, being so close to Christmas and all.

I still had a few things to send out Monday, AND....

AND...

I FINALLY got my NY state driver's license! Yeah..I'm cool.

I don't think I ever went in to it on my blog, but it was a huge ordeal. It started when I went to apply for the job at the Children's Home and it said that I needed a NY driver's license to work there. So then I looked into what needed to be done to just get my license from Missouri transferred over to NY and found out that my license had been suspended LAST SEPTEMBER. I had no idea, because the papers telling me so must have been going to my moms old house.

2004- early 2005 weren't very good years in my driving history, let's just put it that way! I had 2 speeding tickets (or maybe it was 3?) and one ticket for an accident I got in that was my fault. All that put my points over and caused a 30 day suspension, that would have been reinstated in October (2005) if I had known that it had happened.

But I didn't, so I found out over a year later that I had been driving without a valid license. Isn't that peachy?!

So in order to get my license over here I had to wait to be in the clear with Missouri. Basically I just had to send in $20 and a fancy little paper the DMV filled out here that said I was applying to be a legal resident of New York. Then of course a lot of red tape mishaps in between that drew things out a bit.

It's all in the past now though, and I'm totally squared away and LEGAL!! Whoo hoo. Good for me!

I think it's cool that I am now registered to vote in NY, and for the most part have left Missouri behind. My in-laws are there, but as far as my past there, it's nice to have it gone..if even by paper.

Plus, I really do like New York. I haven't found one thing I don't like about it actually. The people are outstanding, the scenery kicks complete ass, and the things to go do and see are endless. Drive 5 hours or less in any direction and you will no doubt find yourself in a very cool place....and seriously, nothing beats that.

In other news, I recently bought a subscription to TIME magazine from some highschool girl that was selling stuff out of a catalog. I didn't want any of the other crap, so for some reason I got the subscription..I think I just wanted to be nice, as she looked a little defeated from lack of sales/response from people. Anyway, early this week I got my first issue, which just happens to be the last issue of the year, so it's got the "Person of The Year" and a whole lot of other recaps.

New's magazines are bad for me though. They get me all riled up and wanting to debate, or I just get bitter and angry. I should have known better is all I can say. I would go into more detail but I don't think I could keep it short, and this is already getting pretty long.

Here's some stats before I go though:

US population in 2006: Just over 300 MILLION

The price the war in Iraq/Afghanistan has cost us so far: Over 500 BILLION

Ummm. Are you saying that technically all 300 MILLION of us could receive a BILLION dollars and STILL we would have 200 BILLION left over if there had been no war in Iraq? (ok ignore this. Tim pointed out that I'm stupid and I should stay away from mathmatics.) * a billion is a thousand million - duh. So, ok..we don't get millions. We could if we didn't give it out to the entire 300 million of us, like say we cut out anyone under 25..cause they need to struggle a little. And who ever else you can think of cutting out so I can get my million damn it...

(I know this isn't economically possible, but still..the numbers totally fuck with my head.)

And then there's the whole "Person Of The Year" thing, but I'll save that for later.

But here's a peek (I can't help myself) - It's "YOU" the internet user. The blogger. The Ebay Seller. The MYSPACE user. The YOU TUBE uploader.

Which at first glance..I thought it was cool enough. They point out, how never before have we been able to communicate and connect with each other so well, and that our opinions on the web are starting to shape the media and advertising, and so on and so forth. Good for us..yada yada yada....

Then they did a page on the 2 guys that started YOU TUBE 21 months ago, and how they just recently sold out to GOOGLE for 1.65 BILLION.

What? These dudes are now billionares? They make billions of dollars from other peoples work? And don't offer a cent in return?

YOU TUBE is cool and all, but here's a REAL billion dollar idea for you:

Someone needs to create a website similar to YOUTUBE, but the new site needs to compensate the users who post their videos on the site. Without them, you'd have nothing, so it only makes sense to me to give back in some way. But YOU TUBE basically takes and ends it there. People don't realize it, but they are being exploited.

If a website was created that compensated, in even the slightest way..all those users would move on from YOU TUBE in a heart beat. As the creator, you'd still have your millions and millions from advertisers that paid to be on your site, you'd just be giving back a little to those that made it possible. YOU TUBE is too cheap and greedy to do this, and that makes me bitter, just because it could be better, and it's not. But oh well. Who am I?

Just a number.

Enchanted Chai Vanilla Tea

2006-12-16T22:39:00.000-05:00

If any of you like to try new things and like cappucinos and lattes..you should totally try this drink. It's made by Caffe D'Vita and it's a "tea latte" Chai vanilla to be exact..and it is HEAVEN.

HEAVEN.

It's kind of like a pumpkin pie version of hot cocoa...OMG.

HEAVEN.

Seriously, try it. And if you can't find it and want to...let me know. I will personally buy some for you and send it to your front door. Well, as long as your family I will, haha. I can't buy it for every "Joe" out there.

The commissary stocks it up here, and it's only about $3 for a good size can.

HEAVEN.

Try it.

:)

P.S. - Did I mention it tastes like HEAVEN??

On the ball..and rolling!!

2006-12-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

I am so DAMN proud of myself. For the most part I am completely done with Christmas...cards sent out and all! WHooo hooo! This is very rare for me, so I guess that's why I am so proud. For the past 3 years I have actually bought Christmas cards and never got around to sending them out...needless to say I have a lot of boxes full of Christmas cards in my desk..oh and thank you cards too. I get half way a lot and then don't follow through. I'm also usually one of those people shopping for loved ones on Christmas Eve.

But this year I followed through and totally rocked.. I went and got new cards that I love, cause they are pretty and I can put a picture of my girls in them. Annnnnd...I not only signed them...but addressed them and took those puppies to the post office!!

For some people, sending out cards a week before Christmas is very last minute, but for me, this is A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS..and awesome in all rights imaginable for me.

I rarely need to be in a particular place at a particular time, so it's turned me into the person "who's always late" because of lack of practice. Also, I am definitely the person who always waits to the very last SECOND to do the things I need to do..people who know me..know this. I don't like to brag about these traits, and I hate that I'm that way most of the time, so when I break out of that character..

yeah..I like to pat myself on the back :)

I only a have a few presents left to wrap for Audrey and Taylor's presents are all done and some are under my tree and some are hidden away until Christmas morning. You read it right, I actually put up my tree too! For a while there I was really not wanting too, but I knew that wouldn't be right for the girls. I'm so glad I did too, because Audrey just loves the tree. Every time she looks at it she says in the sweetest voice "Oh..I LOVE Christmas!" It's too cute, and made it totally worth it.

I also took the girls to see Santa today. I wasn't going to, because he was just at our local drug store and I figured it didn't really matter. Then I asked Taylor why she was wanting to see Santa so bad..cause she was the one really bothering me about it. I didn't even think she believed in Santa anymore. But then she tells me " Well, last year I didn't write him or see him or anything, and only got 2 presents from him!" - haha

Now the explanation...

Usually we are home and Christmas morning is never at our house, it's usually at Andrew's moms. Well last year, as usual we took her gifts over there, but we put "From: Mom & Dad"..not even thinking, and then Andrew's mom kinda did the same thing, and only at the last minute changed a few presents. She got plenty of presents, but only a few of them said they were actually from Santa.

I'm glad I took the time to ask her this question and hear her answer though..cause like I said, I didn't think she believed in Santa anymore. She's asked questions here and there that made me think she had figured out where the presents were really coming from. It works out great though, cause I have a good stash I wasn't going to bring out until the night before anyway, and they don't have labels on them yet or anything.

So whewww...

And awwww...

My little/ big girl still believes in Santa Clause.

There's an innocence there that I can appreciate. :)

Old pics..

2006-12-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

These are some of the pics I dug out..

This is me and some social worker. Don't ask me what that doll was there for, I have no idea..and I don't want to know..hehe.

God knows why I was asked to pose in front of McDonalds..or lord forbid I ASKED too. Eeek. Any which way..if this isn't a classic orphan photo I dunno what is. I got the dress. The un-even socks. The antique brown shoes. The red hair. What more do you want?? ;)

This is me and my brother after we were adopted. About 4 years later my adoptive parents gave up custody of my brother back to the state of KS ( he had mental issues my parents weren't willing to deal with.) Enough said..it wasn't cool. The dog is "Buddy" - he had a twin called "Missy" ..they were both grumpy ass dogs. Buddy died out of no where one night from a burst blood vessel in his brain. Missy lasted until she was 16 or something..my mom loved the hell out of her. So much so, that she got a golden urn..that was 100 times better than the urn my dad got after he died. Go figure.

This is as close as I ever got to a prom-type photo. I believe I was a sophmore and Andrew and I were on our way to the Military Ball. God I look dated.

This is me my Junior year of HS. I look like I'm up to something. Umm. I probably was. All I remember about this photo was that I rushed to get my hair out of a bun and slip on another shirt besides my uniform one. (I went to a military school where we had to wear a uniform 4 out of 5 days a week..it sucked.)

STAYED TUNED - Pics from Paris circa 2000 coming next!!!

For my one and only..

2006-12-08T20:50:00.000-05:00

I made this little video as a virtual Christmas card for Andrew. At first it was kind of sad, but once we got into taking some pictures and adding in some old ones, it got to be kind of fun. I showed it to my neighbor though, and she cried..which isn't quite what I was going for, but ah well! The girls and I had fun making it.

I know Andrew checks my blog every once in a while, so this will be his first time seeing it too, because it's too big of a file to send through email. So I hope he can see it and his internet is fast enough to stream it!! We love you, and can't wait until you come home!!

Rudolph?

2006-12-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

I took this pic just a few minutes ago of my neighbors truck. They left for a while and when they came back, somehow their truck had grown 2 antlers and a red nose! Amazing!

It cracked me up, so of course I had to take a picture of it.

Yes..it's still snowing..I'm not sure it's stops too often here. I'm loving it though, believe it or not! I'd much rather look at everything all white and pretty then all brown and dead :) Plus, we have snow blowers! And it makes clearing out the driveway fun!

I've been digging through a lot of old pics today. Feeling nostalgic if you will. I'm thinking of scanning a few and posting them..so look forward to that! In a few I look like the classic "orphan annie" because they were taken while I was at the Children's Home, and then I found some others from Paris that had me in them! But don't get too excited..even then I wasn't so hot about taking pictures..so they turned out pretty funny. Anyway, I'll try and get them posted by tomorrow.

Brrr

2006-12-08T06:53:00.000-05:00

I woke up today, checked my email, and saw that my weather channel desktop thingy says it's 1 degree outside. But feels like -9. {{{{{{{Brrrrrrr}}}}}}}

I haven't felt it yet, but I will in a few when I take the dogs out. Wish me luck ;)

River

2006-12-06T16:23:00.000-05:00

This is a song off of Sarah Mclachlans Christmas album "Wintersong" -- it is one of the best christmas albums I've heard in a while...probably because I'm not usually a Christmas music kind of gal. It's not your usual upbeat album but it's beautiful in other ways I think. Anyway, I've bought 3 of the cd's already because I'm giving it for a gift this year..that's how much I like it..well that and it's in my budget ;)

This song in particular is damn beautiful. But if I had a river, I wouldn't just "skate away" I would probably skate over to the midwest so I could have Christmas with my family..

"River"

This morning (dec.4th)

2006-12-04T23:15:00.000-05:00

I took these pictures this morning before Taylor headed off for school. Audrey couldn't wait to go play out in the snow this morning, and Taylor would have joined her in the making of snow angels, but she didn't want to get her clothes all dirty and wet. I'm going to get a picture of them doing it side by side though, cause that would be so cute, don't you think?

* The bottom one was taken Sunday, but it was too cute not to share..I'm not proud or anything ;)

Anyway..enjoy!

Ewww.

2006-12-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

The past two days we've been spoiled, it's been sunny for the most part, and we've had highs in the 60's!

It seems like it's back to normal now though. Today has been really windy and rainy and we have flood warnings all over the place...then nothing but snow predicted for the next 5 days. Fun!

Anyway. So that's your northern New York weather report...enjoy!

How's the weather in your neck of the woods? I read a quick headline that said the Midwest was having a winter storm?

Bingo!

2006-11-30T22:20:00.000-05:00

Today went well, for the last two days I've been up around 6:30 in the morning and showered with my hair and makeup done and ready to step out of the house around 8:30. Including getting Ms. Audrey fed and dressed, which is no easy task! I've been doing my running early in the day, which helps I think. That way I can't make any excuse and put it off. I've been way behind on things I need to get done lately. My last Netflix movies I mailed in were the sames one I had when Andrew was home..ummm....2 1/2 months ago, which is just LAME. I pay $25 a month so that I can get 4 at a time because I usually rent TV shows that have went to DVD (my last one was season 1 of Nip Tuck) - so I can safely say I wasted at least $50. (lets hope Andrew doesn't read this!!) I also sent out a unit patch Andrew's been asking me to mail for about a month now...so maybe that will make up for it? He is putting some cool plaque thingy together for all his deployments, they aren't too much money and are pretty neat looking. He did one for his deployment in Iraq, and he's waiting on the patch I sent him to do one for the deployment he made a while back to Kosovo.

Anyway, here's to going to bed at a decent time and getting my ass up early in the morning! So far it seems to be helping. Plus, the sun has been out the past two days and it's been around 60!
That never hurts! It got pretty crappy late this afternoon though..and I hear it's going to stick around and we have snow on the way....grrrr.

And since I'm just jumping around on subjects here...

Tonight I went with my neighbor to my first game EVER of Bingo! Whoo hoo! It was fun, and I got away from the girls for a while. I left Taylor home with my other cell and she watched Audrey, she only called 2 times to complain about Audrey, so all in all it went pretty well. She is getting to the point where I trust her to baby-sit for an hour or two. Plus my neighbor's husband is right upstairs and always there to help.

I got 2 numbers away from winning $200! That was pretty much the highlight of the night, but I still had a lot of fun. Next time I am going to have to take my camera though! The old ladies there are just poetic to me. It would make a great picture in my eyes. Some of them come with all sorts of lucky trinkets and lay them all out, and you can tell they are so happy to be there. One old lady, that was probably 85 and up was wearing the cutest little red bow on the top of her head, which kept making all the other old ladies come by and pick at her, it was funny. Hopefully they will let me take pictures of them, cause I would really love too. The Bingo Scene is sooo happening right now!! ;)

Alright, so that was today....I can't complain!

Into The Ocean

2006-11-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lag. Trust me, I've been falling behind in more areas then blogging though. I've just been struggling to keep it together. Usually I would log on to my blog and get it out, but lately that just seems too exhausting. Sometimes I just wish I could curl up inside a cocoon and wake up a few months from now..all bright and refreshed with a hand reaching out to welcome me back.

In the real world that isn't practical though; I have daughters to raise and take care of, which is a blessing in itself. They keep me from just throwing in the towel...because they bring too much to the table to just throw it all away.

The lesson I have learned lately is having to be an adult and just bite the bullet and drive on. There is no instant cure to what ails me. Living closer to family would help. If Andrew wasn't gone it would definitely help. Having more friends and not having just moved across the country would also make it easier. But none of those things are in my stars for now, so I just have to deal with what I have. I guess that's what all of us have to do.

Times like these, you think back to being in a parents arms.. your spouses arms, and just being held tight and told that it's all going to be ok. But then you realize your an adult now and sooner or later you just have to learn how to stand on your own two feet. It's hard..and each day is a struggle in my head, but I just grit my teeth and move on. Right now I think there is something out there trying to challenge me and teach me that I have what it takes to get through whatever I want too, no matter the circumstance.

Soon enough I will have the support that is essential sometimes and that I so desperately need, but for now, maybe it's all about me learning about ME. In the past I have done things to drown out the sadness, frustration or pain...but all those things did was hurt me even worse in the end..physically or mentally..they drove me further into my hole. Lately I haven't done any of those things and I think that's why I am feeling the way I do. I'm letting myself "feel" I guess? Which sucks..but maybe something good will come out of it.

In the meantime, in an effort to get myself back on track I think I'm going to resort back to giving myself "chore days" so that if nothing else..I know what the purpose for that day was SUPPOSED to have been. I tried it a while back and it seemed to really help..I would wake up and not remember what was designated for that day so I would look it up again on my blog...and say "oh yeah..." and go do what I needed to do. That way everything didn't seem so overwhelming and pointless.

Like I always say...baby steps! Even my "up" days are somewhat off, but I'm still here working at it..and I guess that says something. I can't give it ALL right now..but I can handle SOME....because some is definitely better than NONE.

Awww. A poem... hehe ;)

Comic Relief 2006

2006-11-23T23:25:00.000-05:00

Happy late Thanksgiving everyone! I was pretty depressed as the day began, but it has ended on a wonderful note, and for that I am grateful.

I watched the Comic Relief special on HBO tonight and laughed my ass off to most of it. As always, Dane Cook totally had me cracking up. It feels good to laugh sometimes, ya know?

This year Comic Relief's mission is to help rebuild New Orleans and I fully support the cause. I don't care what anyone says, there is too much history and culture there to simply abandon it, for fear of it getting flooded again. We need to build better and stronger homes, and invest more time, energy and money into building a stronger levy.

Here are some quick facts for you:

50 - Approximate percentage of homes in New Orleans still lacking electricity 83 - Percentage of New Orleans schools damaged by Katrina

1/3 - Amount of debris yet to be picked up

49 - Percentage of bus routes now operational

17 - Percentage of buses back in service

$44,800,000 - Amount given to Louisiana by U.S. Dept. of Education for charter schools since Katrina

$0 - Amount given for traditional public schools damaged by the storm

100 - Number of destroyed miles on U.S. Highway 90 running along Gulf Coast between New Orleans and Pascagoula, MS

Ultimately, there are so many reasons to support this cause, and that's what I did tonight. I even got a free T-shirt out of it! More than that though, I have the satisfaction of knowing I did my part..as small as it may have been, I cared enough to give something.

I know Christmas is fast approaching, and wallets get tighter as the days progress, but I urge you to consider cutting back on a present or two and instead give a little money to this cause.

This season is about giving, but a lot of the times we get caught up in buying useless presents for people that half the time they don't use, and never needed.

So I say..

Give to a cause that you know needs your help.

Give to the elderly that lost their homes,

The children who lost their schools,

The pets that lost their owners...

Do your part, no matter how small, to bring back this soulful city that is part of our nations history, and should stay a part of our nations FUTURE.

Visit http://www.comicrelief.orgto learn more, and to donate.

And remember, it gives back!

Donate

$30-$59 you get a t-shirt

$60-$99 and you get a t-shirt + sweatshirt

$100 or more and you get a t-shirt, sweatshirt, and a "20th Anniversary DVD"

It's a winning situation however you look at it :)

Say what?!?

2006-11-21T23:54:00.000-05:00

I finally went and bought a sleeping aid my neighbor suggested. It's called "Simply Sleep" and it's made by Tylenol. I took some last night and about an hour later I was ready to hit the sheets....at a decent time!! Whooo hoo!

Trust me, this is huge. Lately my system has been so outta wack it's not EVEN funny. It wanted to be up all night and down all day. Even if I had been up for 24 hours straight and by all rights should have crashed the next night...I still couldn't sleep. Then when I finally passed out I'd wake up 3 hours later and be wide awake. It was a disaster. So then of course..my days were a disaster.

Today was great though...productive too. :)

In other news, it doesn't look like Andrew will even be around a good chow hall for Thanksgiving. He's been tasked out to a few different bases to update their systems, or fix them..I can't remember. I don't even know where he's at right now, which bites. I get nervous when he's flying like that too...ya just never know..but I do try to keep my thoughts positive. It's not always easy though. Anyway, here's hoping he gets a decent meal out there some where.

Oh..I almost forgot. My cell phone company seems to have cut me off. The no good bastards. I was under the impression I paid them a few weeks ago (online) but apparently I didn't? I never thought twice about it until today when I went to make a call and it brought me straight to Verizon Wireless...which is weird because I use Altell. It would let me make a call, but mentioned it would cost $2.99 a min. Haha. Yeah, that's going to happen! I can't get into my voice mail or anything, it's really weird. They didn't text or mail any notices or anything, and technically it's only 2 weeks late...which isn't good, but damn! Just cut me off? No mercy.

I'm not tripping though..I've been thinking about switching carriers. I just think it's shitty to not even let me know what was going on..I've been a customer for around 4 years now. Hopefully it's what I think it is though, because today I signed up for new servic, which is cheaper, AND I got 3 lines.

Your not going to believe it, but one of the free phones is for Taylor for Christmas! I know, I know..but just the other day I was at the PX with my neighbor and I pointed out a $60 text messenger they have out there for the kids...it comes with 2 "phones" so that they can give one to a friend and then text each other all they want back and forth. I mentioned that Taylor wanted one of them and my neighbor looked at it unimpressed and said " Why don't you just get her a cell phone?" then I said "Because Andrew would kill me" hehe. Her daughter, who's the same age as Taylor, has one and uses it on occasion. Originally she bought it for her so that when she went out with another friend she had, it was easy to call her and vica-versa.

Anyway, it got me thinking about it a little bit, and then this shit happened with my phone, so I just went with it. Taylor will have a COW Christmas morning when she finds out. She's asked for one for at least 2 years now, and I've always looked at her like she was crazy..because until this point I would have never fathomed she'd have one before 15...at the earliest.

I'm rationalizing it though, because it doesn't cost me a dime extra since I can have up to 3 lines for a flat rate. Plus, I'll be a phone Nazi..she won't be chatting it up very often. Family can call her directly too, so that will be very cool in her eyes.

Hopefully Andrew doesn't kill me. The girls will play when daddies away.. hehe.

Ehh.

It could be a lot worse, no?

I am probably due for a severe ass kicking when he gets home, but that's ok...I can handle it ;)

I don't have any of the phone numbers yet, but when I get them in the mail later this week, I will send out an email to the people who need to know.

Hey, maybe with a new phone & new provider, my phone habits will improve!! I will have to make an effort to answer it more often, and call people more often. Phones aren't near as scary as I make them out to be..I have to keep telling myself this!

Opera

2006-11-19T18:26:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I just haven't been in the "mood" to the past few days.

On to more exciting things!

OK, it's not exciting to most people, but I wanted to share anyway. Recently I've been using Opera for my browser and I've been seriously impressed. Usually I prefer Firefox, but for some reason when I downloaded the new version it put up a Yahoo toolbar that I couldn't get rid of no matter how hard I tried. Every time I closed it out and went to bring it back up it would always reappear. Anyways...I LOATHE unneeded toolbars. I cringe when I see peoples browsers so full of toolbars that cut into their viewing space of the web page they are looking at. Especially when I find out that they don't even use the tool bars! I like my browser clean, organized, and efficient.

I took some screen shots to explain a few things I like about it..

(I had to divide the pic in half to make sure it would fit on my page)

Notice the "New Tab" circled in RED - this allows you to bring up consecutive web pages in the same browser window. Unlike, Explorer which pulls up a whole new window each time you want to view a different page. In this picture you can see I have a 'AOL' tab and my blog as a tab, while I am actually on my Tripod page. It makes it so I can easily click between pages if I need too. Very useful if I'm working on a template or something.

Also notice the BLUE STAR - this is known as the "Magic Wand" which stores passwords for you. You store your password once, and then the next time you visit the same page you see the wand light up with stars. One click on it and it logs you in and does all the foot work for you!

The PINK TRIANGLES are links that I have dragged over from my address bar. If you drag and click on the icon of the page your viewing, and drop it too the left, it will leave a little icon of the page you were viewing. Some of mine are, AOL, My Blog, Sitemeter, Myspace..etc..etc... It's nice because usually when you drag a link over it is in Text, and depending on the description of the site, it can be a WHOLE lot of text, and then you have to go in and edit it...which is a pain.

Now in this next picture you see my address bar, and in this instance I have clicked on it. When you click inside the window (where it says www.tripod.lycos.com) it will bring up a sub-window that keeps track of your 'Top 10' pages viewed when you click on the arrow, which I love. There you also find a icon to click on to go back to your homepage, all of your bookmarks, and more space to drag links.

Anyway, these are just a few things I like about this browser. If you give it a try, make sure and click click on "Tools" on the top of the toolbar and go into "Preferences" - there you can find all sorts of stuff to customize your experience. For example, the default setting is to automatically bring up your last viewed page when you first bring up your browser. You can change this to bring up your homepage every time instead. (which most people like better)

Go here if you want to download it! And if you do, let me know if you like it..or even what you don't like about it :)

Cause dogs are a pain in the ass...

2006-11-15T18:27:00.000-05:00

You Are: 20% Dog, 80% Cat

You are are almost exactly like a cat.

You're intelligent, independent, and set on getting your way.

And there's no way you're going to fetch a paper for anyone!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

No seriously...my dogs piss me off. If I could find a nice older couple with a fenced yard, I would consider giving Chief the boot. I love him, but he really needs a yard so that he can take all the time he wants out there to contemplate taking a shit..cause obviously it takes a lot of thought on his part. When we had a fenced yard it wasn't a problem, but now days he's all about sneaking away somewhere in my house to drop a deuce. I am getting tired of it. Especially now that Gatsby has assigned himself to cleaning up Chiefs little messes. Mmmm. Yummm..

Damn Dogs.

WACK

2006-11-14T04:28:00.000-05:00

I'm crazy ya'll - totally losing it. It's almost 5 am and I haven't had a wink of sleep. I tried to go to sleep around 1 am but it wasn't happening, I laid in my bed for I don't know how damn long...like till 2:30 or something. F*cking lame man. LAME.

I got up and painted a little..god knows if it will be worth anything though. Now I'm just sitting here jamming to Stone Sour on my headphones. I have been obsessed with them since last week when I first heard them. They are a lot harder than the music I usually listen too, but it's been hitting the spot like you wouldn't believe..almost as sweet as sex. Maybe I say this because I've forgotten what sex is like? Quit laughing at me...dammit I have issues. hehe.

Back to Stone Sour hitting my sweet spot...

They got some wicked beats...all hardcore. I listen to them and all my pent up angst comes to the surface ready to play with some poor unfortunate soul that crosses my path. I'm not even kidding...GRRRRR...be afraid. {{{very afraid}}}

Unfortunately no one crosses my freakin path. What fun is that??

Gah. Anyway, pretty soon I am going to upload a few tracks to my media player and put it back in my sidebar - then you too will be able to bring out your inner angst to play... and together we will make this world an angrier place! Capeesh? You know you want too. Don't lie.

Back to my sleeping issue...

I've been like this a lot lately. My body wants to do this whole 24 hours up and 8 hours down thing..and I can't seem to manually correct it. I got up early today, thinking maybe by this evening I would have been tired, but no dice. It sucks because by about 5-6 pm tonight, my body/mind will be ready to collapse in on itself. Then I will get a good nights sleep, and then the next night be up all night again. It's a horrible pattern. I'm thinking I need to get some sleep aid or something. Tylenol PM? Gotta write that one down...

I bet I'm not making any sense as I write this either. It probably sounds all wiggity wiggity wiggity wack...

My poor brain cells need some rest. They are dwindling and losing the war of my stupidity.

So yah. Ending this for now. I will surely regret it in the morning.

Oh wait. It IS the morning. Righhhhht. $%@&*!^@%

LAME.

Detour

2006-11-13T13:38:00.000-05:00

Last night my neighbor brought over some baked ziti because she had made too much and thought she would share..nice huh?

The only thing was that I've been on this vegetarian kick lately, and have been doing really well with not eating meat (except for fish). Basically for health reasons and other things I don't agree with concerning how most animals are brought to the dinner plate now days. Anyways, I don't preach, it's just a personal thing for me.

I totally gave in yesterday though. I've never had baked ziti, yet I've heard alot about it when I've watched the "Sopranos"...they seemed like they were always making it and talking about how good it was. So when she brought some over I couldn't resist trying some even though it had hamburger and sausage! Ah well..ya gotta live & my will is only so strong!

Can I just say that it was totally worth it?? Damn it was delicious.

I haven't totally went off the wagon, but I must say..it was a nice detour. :)

Veterans Day

2006-11-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

OK, there is officially no more "mama drama" on this blog. I wasn't aiming at creating what I did, but it's a chance I took. I guess that's why more people don't say whats on their minds, you never know how it may be perceived. In retrospect I wouldn't have not posted it though, cause I would rather be honest with how I feel than pretend that every things ok and be fake.

I remember a long time ago I gave my birth father an ass chewing in my sister's defense because he had said some things I didn't agree with and was overreacting to the situation that was going on. Anyway, as you saw..I can give a good ass chewing! So after I wrote him I was expecting World War III, I just knew there wasn't anyway he wouldn't come back with a retort of some sort. Well, I was wrong and the next reply he sent me didn't hardly say anything at all, it said something like:

"Your right. I'm sorry, you've made me think about things a little differently"

Something like that..it was short and too the point. Anyway, I read it and sat back in amazement. I was instantly ready to give him a second chance when just 30 minutes prior I had thought it was the end of our relationship. It caught me off guard, and definitely earned some respect from me. Not many people in this world are open to hearing when they are wrong, or to hearing the other side of the story, they are usually to busy thinking of their own defense. the problem with doing that is that it's impossible to ever learn anything about yourself if you don't listen to people once in a while.

Anyhow, enough of that for now!!

Happy Veterans Day!

Have you thanked a soldier today? I'd give one a big hug and kiss if I could :)

I actually got something in the mail today that I thought was really cool. It was a package that had a letter, a Certificate of Appreciation, and a lapel pin that said "spouse" over the army's logo.

The letter was really nice, here's a small section of it:

"Ours is an Army of tradition. Our greatest tradition is selfless service to our country, and in that service we ask our Soldiers to carry out tough missions that take them away from home and family. Today, soldiers answer the call to defend us against new kinds of threats. Deployments have increased and frequency and length in order to maintain our commitments to freedom, to our way of life, and to the American Family. The Nation has no choice. The Global War On Terrorism is one that touches us all - and one that we must win.

As Soldiers serve, the support of families sustains them so they do what must be done to protect our freedoms. Our nation would not have the service of Soldiers without your support and patriotism. You make a difference to your Soldier and to your country."

Nice huh? I thought it was pretty neat. I'm not sure why I got it, or if every Army spouse got one today, but it's cool either way.

I scanned the Certificate of Appreciation so you could see it. For obvious reasons I faded out where our last names were. Click on the pic and have a look though, it's a nice one.

The Response

2006-11-11T00:25:00.000-05:00

Some people just don't get the point. The last thing I thought I said was that I was TRYING with what I could for now. Dyslexia you think?? Cause she thinks I said I wanted a good-bye from her. Ummm. ok.

Here is what she posted in her blog. Good luck on understanding it.

"I guess you want a goodbye......
I tried and that is all I can do and what you have its ok with me .. I am not going to beg for any thing from you i just wanted to start someting . But i see that is not what you wanted.. That is your lose I am a good person and yes we all have our fault you do too and everyone does so just do whatyou feel what you think is best for you . I will always have love in my heart for you but if you dont want it thats ok.. You have to deal with that in your own way.. I never said that i was perfect and yes i did have to put you in the children home and talked to you about that .. Your dad was drunk and didnt want to deal with any of this and when he got that way he beat me and that is some that no child needs to see he was in fault as well so keep that in mind an d may GOD be with you in this.... I am not going to let this end my life I do have other children that do love me and grand children too and i am great person once someone gives a chance to someone... So say what ever you want to say about me because i dided it and you didnt so you dont know the whole truth. You are getting one side of it and that is fine if that is what you want i am not going to make you hear me if you dont want to .. And to let go for what happen to me and the things i went thur there will never be any chance for HIM to get in this life and what he did God what is due to him... So hate me is that is what you want to do .. But you can never take what is in my heat for you so .. THis is the end until you decide what you want to do with me and if that is nothing so be it .. I will leave you alone and hope you have a wonderful life and take care of your children and just live each day and smell the roses and take care ...
MY love is there if you ever want it... so i guess this is the end and have a good life and I am sorry that your life was such a Fuck up but you arent the only on on this earth that has been thur shit ... This is the end of this and i wont let you commment on this you know my email address if you have some thinkg to say let me knot there is shouldnt be on the the blpog for everyone but if that is what you want to make me look so bad ok and i am just going to let you know what all you think you know just remember there are aallways tow sides to a story.. good luck in life and my God be with you"

WELL.

If that doesn't make you feel proud of where you come from then I don't know what will!!!

jeeze louise, somebody get me a drink.

Let's Get Some Things Straight

2006-11-10T16:07:00.000-05:00

You know what's funny? I've been going back and forth on whether or not this is the best place to vent my current frustrations, mainly because I don't want to perpetuate more drama, which I feel might be inevitable if I do say something.

But then I checked my email and opened up my daily horoscope and lookie what it said:

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
You know what's important to you today, but still may be very worried about the reactions of others. You may feel overly responsible for someone else at work, yet your concern might have more to do with your insecurity than altruism. Think it through first; if your motives are clear, then go ahead and act on what you believe.

Oh snap. I can do that..my motives are crystal fucking clear.

Here's the thing:

Who I choose to deal with, and in what manner I deal with them is MY BUSINESS, and ONLY my business.

And guess what? Why I deal with someone the way I do..you guessed it...it's also my business.

I give those I know that respect, and all I am asking for, is it in return.

I am getting fed up with people thinking they know the way I should see things, like they have my perception all figured out and ready to bottle feed me. Perception doesn't work that way folks. It's mine and mine alone. Everyone has a different way of looking at things, it's just how it is. Until you've walked in my shoes, the smart thing to do is just stop trying to meddle and let me come to you and explain myself...that is if I feel I owe you an explanation.

Weakness

1. Lacking physical strength, energy, or vigor; feeble.

2. Likely to fail under pressure, stress, or strain; lacking resistance: a weak link in a chain.

3. Lacking firmness of character or strength of will.

We are all weak in our own ways, I understand this and I know I'm not above it. What differentiates myself and others from people that I have a problem with, is that even though my life has had it's own share of adversity and at times I've felt like nothing and ready to quit - I DIDN'T.

Like I always say. I got stories. Tons of them. My life was no bowl of goddamn cherries, and it still isn't. But I'll be damned if I'd ever quit or even want to quit. I have too much to live for, too much to prove to those who thought otherwise of me, and too much pride to ever let anyone get the best of me.

What happened in my life doesn't define me. I define me.

So although we all crumble at times from the pressure, it's essential to pick yourself back up and drive on. I have little tolerance for those who can't seem to understand that they are in control of their own destiny and like to play life's victim. Bad things happen to good people all the time, and it's up to you whether your going to let the bad guy knock you down.

If your one of those people that is forever playing your violin and at the same time hopes to get respect from me, you have to understand that it's not an easy thing for me. I'd prefer to take your violin and smash it over your head in hope to snap you out of your self-pity. Out of love..I would totally break your violin, because it does nothing for you...nothing but drive you further into your own sad psychosis, and that's just a waste of what would have otherwise been a person with great potential in life. If you can't move on from your past all you know how to do is feed off of others like a parasite because you don't believe your strong enough to stand on your own.

Anyway, I know I am being harsh, but this is how I feel. So when I have a birth mother who wallows in self-pity and a sister who can't understand why I keep my distance from her, I get pretty frustrated. One, no one really knows how much effort I'm putting into someone but me.

My MOTHER died only 3 months ago.

3 months.

She was mean and heartless and used the fuck out of me, but she was my mom, and we had our good times too. It was her damn idea to take me out of the children's home, she liked my red hair and thought I was cute to boot. I didn't have the best home life, but at least I wasn't busy being an orphan and visiting countless foster homes of people who enjoy locking kids in closets when they are tired of them.

She took me away from that and I have to respect that and love her for it regardless of how she hurt me in the past.

So please consider my position on things and understand where I am coming from. I haven't even been able to wrap my head around my own mother dying and at the same time I'm supposed to embrace another "mother" - it's not so easy, and any little contact with her is EFFORT, and it's my way of trying to give her a chance. Stop trying to create drama and figure out what my INACTION means. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. After I don't talk to someone for 4 days and all of a sudden they are emailing me and assuming I don't want to talk to them EVER AGAIN and I'm ready to write them off, it annoys the shit out of me. It tells me that too much shit has been going on in the background and that people are wasting their time trying to figure out things that they can truly only know if they ASK THE SOURCE. It pisses me off to the point where I just want to give them what they've wasted all their time on,...... what they think they've got all figured out. How in the hell you try to figure out whats going on in someone elses head is beyond me...it's so damn pointless.

Anyway I'm done. I got more personal than I wanted, but I'm not going to write long emails pleading my case and I'm certainly not going to explain myself over the phone. I won't defend myself against your THOUGHTS of me and nothing that I have actually done. All I have done is tried, believe it or not. I am trying to give a little and work with something that I don't even feel comfortable with yet, so my advice is to get off the campaign trail and let me make my own decisions in life.

OK I feel better now.

WARNING

2006-11-09T14:55:00.000-05:00

I need to get some stuff off my chest, so if you have delicate sensibilities or feel like you have a tendency to take things personal, you might need to stop here and go on about your internet surfing.

The thing is, over a year and a half ago I started this blog as an outlet and lately it hasn't been a good one at all. Sometimes it's just a fun way to pass the time as I mess with the template, but a lot of times it was here when I really needed to express myself in one way or another about a multitude of things.

Like the many times it was the wee hours of the morning and I had drank too much wine...I could come here and type in a post that made complete nonsense, feel better, and then take my drunk ass to bed and pass out. (sigh..such good times)

Or the times I was dealing with my mom, I could come here and vent and make fun of her...it may not have been right in all ethical circles, but it made me feel better. And thats what counts right? ;)

My frustration had a home, and that was KEY.

My blog is here for many different reasons, and they are ALL selfish. Every time I try to start writing stuff just to write it and make my readers happy, it ALMOST ALWAYS ends up sucking donkey balls. But when I come here to get shit off my chest and write about everything from my family, to politics, to how my kids get on my nerve, or to share some music I'm obsessed with or a painting I just finished, it ALMOST ALWAYS turns out to be some good stuff. And if it's not, I don't care, because at least it made me feel better to write it/ share it.

Some people start blogs for affirmation of something or another. Maybe they want to know if you care what they have to say....or maybe they try and write something you might think is interesting. Sometimes it's just a popularity contest and people weigh everything on how many comments they get or how many visits they get to their sitemeter. The thing they are missing is that you don't start a blog for OTHER PEOPLE. Unless it's one of those political or fashion blogs and etc. that are purely for entertainment purposes.

I don't care about any of those things. I could care less if you don't care. If you get bored..leave. And comment or no comment, I will continue to post and enjoy my blog for what it is, it's for my enjoyment more than anything. Those who create blogs for what they are hoping they get out of other people, almost always fail because they get let down, and wrap up way too much in whether they get a comment or not.

Blogging is not where you come to find out if your family loves you, or for confirmation that you are an interesting person, or that what you have to say is important. YOU need to have the confidence to KNOW that you are an interesting person..or at least think you are, and YOU need KNOW you are important to yourself before looking to another to assure you of it. And odds are, if your family loves you, they still love you even if they suck at giving comments. (Damon loves me and he never comments! hehe) If someone does care about what you have to say, trust me...it's a BONUS. An awesome bonus, and greatly appreciated, but it shouldn't be the sole reason why you blog.

It's an outlet, and I don't have a whole lot of other outlets that I prefer to use, especially when it just comes to random rants and minor annoyances that don't mean enough to bring to any ones attention personally.

What's frustrating me is that lately I haven't been able to use this blog how I would like because of who might be reading it and such. Not that I mind family reading it, but since I know they are, I feel like I have to censor my content so as not to offend anyone.

And we all know...censorship is not fun! ;)

Anyway, so I need to change that. I need to be able come here and dump shit without repercussions and then move on my merry way. I also don't want to hurt any ones feelings in the process.

How do I do that?

Well. We have to come to a mutual understanding. It's as simple as that. You as the reader have to understand that none of what I write is to bring anything to your attention personally. Meaning: if I was angry with you I wouldn't come here to let you know, or if it was any other big deal that I felt needed to be addressed personally..this wouldn't be my way of letting you know...I'd tell you first, as long as you were open to hear it.

On the other hand, if your just annoying me in some random stupid way, I might feel the need to get it out and write about it. I'd email you about it, but if I am writing about it in here, it's nothing that changes my perspective of you in any way, I don't like/love you any less, and I am not even saying you need to stop doing what your doing. I just want to come here and say your annoying me and then get on with life. That's how fleeting it is.

The problem with not being able to express my minor annoyances for fear of offending someone is that over time they build up because I've had nowhere to dump them and then I might start getting actually mad at you and really have no reason to be.

Does that make any sense?? I hope it does.

The moral of this story? Don't take anything I write too personal or too seriously, because it isn't meant to be. By all means, if I am annoying you, go write about it in your blog...and me being me...I will probably drop you a comment about how you love me anyway so to live with it ;) As long as your not over there totally trashing me, I'm cool. So I'm asking you to be cool too :)

Otherwise, I dunno, maybe you should just give my blog up because I am tired of not being able to go here and say whats on my mind. I thought about just creating a different blog that no one knows...

But I was here first!!! hehe

Seriously..I have too much history here to just abandon it.

Ok, so that's it. From now on I'm going to say what I want to say, and that's just how it is. Love it or leave it baby.

I have a great topic for my first installment but I feel it's too long to get into right now considering how long this post is already..I don't want to overwhelm anyone! Lord knows I've had my share of frustrations lately.

Peace out homies - more tomorrow!

The Elections

2006-11-08T14:17:00.000-05:00

Wow..what an awesome day!! Democrats have a good hold on the senate, and might even win it once Virgina gets their shit together; they have the house majority for the first time in 12 years, and then Rumsfeld steps down??

Hell diggity dog YES! That's what I'm talking about..

Shhewwt.

I think where there are politicians there will always be corruption, but Washington has been out of control for the past few years..and finally the people have spoken. Thank god.

I find it funny how now Bush is all behind Rumsfeld leaving when just a few weeks ago it was unheard of. Now he's all over the TV with his smug attitude "Of course I think it's a good time, its very important to get a fresh perspective"..with his evil little grin the whole time. He's so full of bull-shit. The next few days/weeks are going to be interesting. I might actually watch the news!

One of the biggest surprises of the night was Republican Rep. Jim Leach's defeat in Iowa after a career that spanned 30 years, losing to Dave Loebsack, a college professor making his first run for elective office. Sweet! So many republicans got booted after serving numerous terms..I am speechless. In a happy way. :-)

Oh man, I could go on and on and on, but I'll spare you...just this once.

{{{trying to calming down}}}

Dunkin Donuts

2006-11-07T16:29:00.000-05:00

I read an article recently about Dunkin Donuts giving Starbucks a run for their money..they made the list for one of the top 10 franchises, and are trying to sway people from Starbucks by offering their coffee cheaper and faster.

It made me smile because since coming to New York I have a certain appreciation for Dunkin Donuts. They are EVERYWHERE around here, even in the smallest of towns you can expect to see a Dunkin Donuts. At first, Andrew and I just thought.."man, these people like their donuts!" but that was until we heard about how great their coffee was. They have exceptional coffee, lattes, coolattas, you name it..and it is remarkably cheaper than Starbucks. After I learned this, whenever we would go for a drive a few hours away (especially towards the Adirondacks) and we would pass through a small town and I saw they had a Dunkin Donuts, I would say,"Ohhhh..they have Dunkin Donuts!!" - like it was Disney Land or something..hehe. And of course we would usually stop. Even Andrew likes them because they don't just sell coffee they sell kick ass smoothies too.

We didn't even have any Starbucks around here until just recently when one opened up in Watertown, NY, but it's still 45 minutes away from me so I doubt if I will be seeing it much.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that. It's one of the first big differences we noticed here in Upstate NY. There are lots of other differences (that I really love) but since this one was dealing with coffee I was bound to notice it first! ;)

** Yes, I'm aware I have an obsession with changing my template..sorry about that. Changing codes and colors is fun though!**

In short

2006-11-06T18:12:00.000-05:00

Certain people creep me out.

Sometimes I think I have issues..until I see certain behavior and realize I'm not so bad off at all...I'm pretty damn normal in the grand scheme of things.

Moving on.

Dad's Potato Soup

2006-11-05T22:56:00.000-05:00

My dad was famous for a few entrees in our house. One of them was Potato Soup..I remember watching him make it and loving how it made the house smell.

Tonight, for the first time ever..I made it all by myself. If my dad is looking down right now, he's so so jealous :) He loved his potato soup.

It's a very simple recipe, and anyone can make it, its just for some reason I never did at my own house. I think I just enjoyed watching him make it. I dunno.

So anyway, I made it, and the smell and everything else reminded me of good times when I was younger, which was nice.

Here's the recipe in case you want to give it a try:

Simple Potato Soup

Ingredients:

1 Stick of Butter
4-5 Large Russet Potatoes (peeled and cut in med sized chunks)
2 Cans of Evaporated Milk
1 Onion (diced)
Salt & Pepper

Combine the stick of butter in a sauce pan with the diced onions and saute on low for around 5 minutes until the onions are tender (don't brown). Then add the potatoes to the sauce pan and add just enough water too cover the potatoes. Gently boil until potatoes seem tender then add the cans of evaporated milk. Simmer for around 15 minutes once you've added the milk. Add salt and pepper to taste at any time during the process.

* I always thicken mine up with a few crackers crushed into it. Yum!

There are a lot of other versions out there that add quite a few more ingredients, but I like it simple..just how my dad did. It's a wonderful dinner for a cold night.

Think about it?

2006-11-04T21:54:00.000-05:00

You won't believe this video. Undercover investigators at a Butterball turkey plant in Arkansas caught workers stomping and sitting on live birds, ripping their legs off, and slamming them against walls and the sides of trucks. At the slaughterhouse, turkeys are hung upside-down by their weak and crippled legs before their heads are dragged through an electrified - stunning tank, which immobilizes the animals but does not kill them. Many birds dodge the tank and, therefore, are still conscious when their throats are slit. If the knife fails to properly slit the birds throats, they are scalded to death in scalding-hot defeathering tanks.

I know most of my readers might not care, but for the slim chance that it might change your mind on eating a turkey this year, I am posting it anyways.

Spread some holiday joy to turkeys by sparing their lives. Look in supermarkets and health-food stores or on the Internet for Tofurky, Unturkey, Tofu Turkey, Native Foods Holiday Wellington, and other widely available turkey alternatives. For more information on vegetarian holiday meals, call PETA toll-free at 1-888-VEG-FOOD or visit GoVeg.com.

Take the Thanksgiving pledge?

John Kerry

2006-11-03T08:59:00.000-05:00

Andrew emailed me this pic..haha. Too funny.

Q&A

2006-11-01T17:17:00.000-05:00

Explain what ended your last relationship? I haven't had a romantic relationship that's ended, but as far as family I've had a few end..you know..they like died. Pretty much put an end to it.

When was the last time you shaved? 2 days ago

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m? Getting my sleepy ass out of bed to make Queen Audrey breakfast.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Burning a CD to take with me later on when I go to the store. The Band: The Softies - The CD: It's Love

Are you any good at math? I used to be, but it's been a while.

Your prom night? what about? I never went to prom.

Do you have any famous ancestors? I have no idea.

Have you had to take a loan out for school? No, but I'm the process of doing so.

Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile? For the most part.

Last thing received in the mail? An L.L. Bean holiday catalog.

How many different beverages have you had today? (2) - water and some Snapple green tea with mango. Yum

Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine? I would have to call someone to do that. ;)

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Rockfest in KCMO

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Nope..that seems silly to me

What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had? I think I have a pretty high pain threshold, so nothing I can remember was that painful...of course getting a tooth pulled always sucks.

What is out your back door? Trash cans and a big field.

Any plans for Friday night? Nope.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? Yeah..it gets all kinky..which I've heard isn't a bad look on me ;)

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Maybe once? I can't really remember. They are yummy though. Popcorn and I are old pals..

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Once but I can't remember where.

Do you re-use towels after you shower? Yep, I only use one towel though..I wash it then put it right back before I need it again. It is monogrammed and the best towel ever. Until I can afford more like it, I won't be switching it out. Weird..I know.

Some things you are excited about? Starting classes, Andrew coming home..

What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O? I don't really like jell-o did you know it is made with a gelling agent that comes from the connective tissue of animals? Eww.

Describe your keychain(s)? I don't have a key-chain but I have an ultra cool, retractable key fob.

Where do you keep your change? In four glass milk jugs that are painted really cool..seperating each type of coin, of course.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Back in highschool

What kind of winter coat do you own? Usually light stuff like a sweat jacket or a leather jacket, but I'm going to have to invest in something heavier pretty soon. I hear it gets cold up here!

What was the weather like on your graduation day? Hot, humid, sunny.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open, so that I can hear the girls if I need too

That was entertaining huh!!??

Mother knows best..

2006-10-31T17:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight I am handing out peanut butter cracker packs, apples, granola bars and fruit snacks..

Taylor told me her friends weren't going to like me once they saw what I was giving out...which I thought was damn funny. There's nothing sweeter than embarrassing/annoying your know-it-all pre-teen that has an attitude about anything and everything 24/7! Ha..it makes my day. ;)

Of course I had other reasons too..like not wanting to contribute to the annual sugar overload, and not having a bunch of left over chocolate at my house..but mostly it was to mess with Taylor.

hehe.

The Life And Death Of A Pumpkin

2006-10-30T19:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!! (just a teensy bit early)

Do yourself a favor and watch this video. Never before would I have thought I'd ever feel sorry for a pumpkin!! The video is so twisted it's genius :)

The Life and Death of a Pumpkin

Don't get me started..

2006-10-29T23:04:00.000-05:00

Aside from it getting dark at 5 O'clock in the evening - Don't you just love daylight savings time in the fall? I LOVE getting my hour back. Today seemed slower than most days, and for once, I actually wouldn't have wanted otherwise. We didn't really do anything special, but it was still a good day. It was a excellent day to veg...god knows we wouldn't have wanted to be outside. It is cold with 60mph winds. (a.k.a. miserable outside)

Yesterday I submitted my blog to a site that reviews them. It's called "I talk Too Much" and from what I can tell, they love dissing your site, everything from your content to your design..and they umm...HATE dark templates like mine. I'm a glutton for punishment I guess. I can only imagine what they might have to say, I've told myself I won't take it personally though..it might be fun to hear some honest critique with no regards for my feelings. There's a chance I could get a good review, but I'm seriously not counting on it!

Anyway, if you want to go check out the site, it's : www.italk2much.com

(hehe, he will HATE that I put his pic up here, but it's one of my favorites)

On another note, but somewhat related, Andrew emailed me a rant about the replies (comments) I get on my blog. He said that he trys to "engage" in some intellectual conversation when he leaves a comment, but no one ever seems to reciprocate it. This is just another sign he's a little bored out there in Afghanistan..or more likely wanting some kind of human interaction. I tried to explain that comments aren't usually where the conversation begins, but I'm not sure he was down with it. His rant was seriously funny though, although I'm not sure he intended it to be. He needs to go do yoga or learn some relaxation techniques, hehe.

I think it would be cool if he had a blog of his own..it would be a neat peek into his world, but he said that if he does he has to register it with Chain of Command, and he didn't want to go through all the BS. For that, I can't blame him.

------

Speaking of a soldier..my upstairs neighbors husband is hopefully coming home this week from Afghanistan. Not for any good reason though. These guys have it so rough out there, you have no idea.

It started a month ago when her husband went to sick call for severe pain in his abdomen, and then was told that it was kidney stones. They got him on meds and then after a few days did some xrays but didn't find any kidney stones. They told him that possibly they were too small to be picked up on, and I assume, sent him on his way.

Next thing my neighbor knew, she was getting a call from him saying that he had recently had surgery and got his appendix taken out and also part of his colon. The thing is, they did it in Afghanistan..because it was somewhat of a emergency situation...which is not a good thing. Afghanistan is a dirty place, with a lot of dirt and dust, so they usually don't do operations there. It's better to send the soldiers to Germany.

He wasn't so lucky though, and as a result he stayed in Afghanistan for another week and a half while they waited for him to be stable enough to transport, because he was still not able to get off a feeding tube, and something about his guts not working right..I don't know the exact details.

When they finally moved him though, he didn't even get to go straight to Germany, he spent 2 days in a city in Iraq, where just a day after he left, 2 soldiers were killed.

So finally he gets to Germany, and they declare he has a really bad infection going on so they open him back up and leave him open so it could drain. Then after a few days they sew him back up..but then end up opening him back up again.

Such a mess. And all this time my neighbor was just wanting him to arrive at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in WA, so she could go see him, but it took them a while to get him stable enough to make the trip home.

She left last week to go meet him though, and I haven't talked to her since, but hopefully he's there and on his way back to his house soon. The poor guy has lost over 30lbs in a very short time, and I'm sure he can't wait to enjoy the comforts of home. I mean, all soldiers miss home..it's hard not too, but in his particular situation I'm sure it means even more.

You Are a "Don't Tread On Me" Libertarian

You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don't belong in either party.
Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion... and you feel opressed by both.
You don't want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else's for that matter.
You're proud to say that you're pro-choice on absolutely everything!

What's Your Political Persuasion?

Anyway..just had to share that. The news doesn't even give you a glimpse into what it's like to be a soldier or even a family member of a soldier. It's f*cked up. There's no other way to put it. It didn't used to be so bad, but since the war soldiers are way over worked and stressed the hell out..and so are their families.

They all know what they signed up for, there's no doubt about that, and they are still proud of what they do, but when your going on 2-3 years of constant deployments, it makes it hard to keep the faith. Long gone are the days where you sigh in relief that you made it home alive from a war...

Now days, you get to catch your breath just long enough to head your ass back out.

F*cked up.

There isn't a better word out there for it.

Anyways. Off my rant for now. It kind of came out of nowhere.

Before I go, and on a completely DIFFERENT note, THE FRAY has a new "bootleg" album out - "Live At The Electric Factory" -- and it's sweet as hell. I saw them live..and they are OUTSTANDING, so I'm glad I now get to listen to them live on a CD!! If you like The Fray, you should go buy it. ASAP, k? It's a limited edition..so hurry on up.

You WILL NOT be disappointed.

* ALSO, PLEASE NOTE THAT IF YOUR VIEWING MY SITE WITH INTERNET EXPLORER, YOU MAY NOT BE SEEING IT RIGHT. FOR SOME REASON MY PAGE TITLE AND DESCRIPTION DON'T SHOW UP? FIREFOX IS A GREAT BROWSER..GIVE IT A TRY!!*

Cause I think too much..that's why!

2006-10-26T09:55:00.000-04:00

Waiting for the Stafford Loan from the government seems to be taking forever. I'm anxious to start taking classes..it will give me something to do in my free time!

Since I don't have the loan yet, I haven't had to choose a Major or course of study, but I've been giving it a lot of thought. My last decision was to major in english with a minor in journalism. Mainly because I've always liked the language arts and seem to do well in them. I'm starting to second guess myself though because I'm wondering what kind of jobs that will open up when I do get a degree. Writing for a news paper is cool and all, but I have no idea of the kind of pay it entails, and I'm pretty sure it's not always that easy to get into it. My other choice would be to teach english..which doesn't sound awful, but then I would need to change my minor I think?

I don't know, I'm confused. I need to go back to the school site and think it over some more.

Before I go though, I have one question. What is up with the forwarded jokes that lure you into staring at something for a while, like a maze, or trying to play a silly game, and then they flash a scary character at you that is not only ugly as hell, but is screaming a high pitched wail at you? I hate those..

They totally suck a$$.

It's even got me afraid to look into most FW: emails, especially if they have just a link to another site in them. I've already gotten 3 of these kinds of emails within this month alone.

So sometimes I wonder what I did to piss these people off that send me these - obviously I did something, why else would someone want to scare the shit out of me while I was drinking a cup of coffee and increase the potential of me spilling some and burning myself??

Hmmm. Just a random thought.

Teal Green

2006-10-26T01:19:00.000-04:00

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts any strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

The Pink Ribbon

2006-10-23T22:42:00.000-04:00

It seems to me lately that this pink craze has got out of hand. A lot of companies are legit, but it looks like more and more are jumping on the "profit wagon" and taking advantage of the average person that means well. It's turning into a fad to acknowledge the little pink ribbon, and that's not good.

The following is an article that my eyes are opening too. Do you support breast cancer? Me too. The best way to show your support is to #1 - take care of yourself, and #2 - let those you care about know how to take of their selves.

Take a moment to check out this article from NewsTarget -

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month, and consumers across the country are rushing to buy pink merchandise that boasts "Proceeds benefit breast cancer awareness initiatives," but consumer advocates claim purchasing such products does nothing to cure or prevent breast cancer.

Pink merchandise in support of breast cancer research has been around for years, but this year bigger brands and more expensive products have joined the "pink" craze, including Kitchen Aid, which offers a pink mixer for around $300, and Wilson, which offers pink-accented golf clubs. Companies such as BMW and New Balance are also associating products and services with pink breast cancer awareness ribbons.

However, natural health advocate Mike Adams, author of "The Seven Laws of Nutrition," says vast numbers of companies are jumping on the "pink" bandwagon simply to sell more products. Adams says few consumers question where their money goes when they buy pink products to support breast cancer research.

"How does buying pink merchandise help women with breast cancer? The answer is that the money goes to pharmaceutical company-sponsored breast cancer front groups that are actively engaged in the suppression of breast cancer prevention information," Adams claims. "They intentionally discredit existing breast cancer treatments and cures like vitamin D and sunlight therapy in order to trick consumers into thinking a cure doesn't yet exist."

Adams says pharmaceutical companies have tricked consumers into believing that they are making a statement about themselves by purchasing pink products. "While they think the statement is, 'I care about women's health,' what's really being stated is, 'I am easily fooled by marketing gimmicks,'" Adams said.

Peggy Johnson, former president of the Mid-Kansas Susan G. Komen chapter, advises consumers to exercise discretion when shopping for pink products. "If it doesn't say who it's going to or how much is being donated, don't buy it," Johnson said.

Adams says breast cancer cannot be cured by buying pink-colored products, because the pharmaceutical research those purchases fund won't produce a cure. "Cancer can only be prevented and cured through nutrition, genuine disease prevention and embracing those natural therapies that really work, such as sunlight, rainforest herbs, juice detox programs, raw foods and regular exercise," Adams said.

Mini-update

2006-10-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

There are few things that are bothering me right now. This isn't the place to elaborate into it though, so I'll have to leave it at that.

Anyway, here's a mini-update on me:

For those of you wondering what ever came of the job at the Childrens Home - I never turned in my application, mainly because I needed to have a copy of my NY State driver's license with it. I don't have one is the point here. So, while waiting on the necessary paper work to transfer my license from Missouri, I decided to nix the small-time jobs and start taking classes online toward my bachelors degree. Right now I am waiting on some financial stuff to fall in line. The government offers a Stafford loan that you don't have to start making payments on until after you have your degree, so that's one of my only options. My dilemma is choosing my major. Part of me wants to choose something I love; i.e Photography, Graphic Design, Web Developer, the Fine Arts...

But the other part of me wants to stay safe and get a degree in something that I know will pay off as soon as I get a degree. Something technical like Network Management, like my husband, or something in education, because I like working with kids. I really don't know. But I need to figure it out with a quickness!

Besides that, things over here are ok. Yes..just "ok". I miss Andrew, but that's a given I guess. It would just be nice to wake up next too someone, or be able to cook for him, or talk to him..etc, etc.

Hope you've enjoyed my mini-update! Have a good night all.

Ist Snow

2006-10-20T15:32:00.000-04:00

The snow is coming down hard over here! If it doesn't stop before too long, we are going to get buried!

I took some quick pics of the grass, and by the time I got in and uploaded them and looked back out..the grass was completly covered. I also tried to take some pics of the same branches as I did last week..to show the contrast of only a weeks time. They came out ok but not as good as they could have because it's snowing so heavy out there.

Anyway, check out these pics, and as always if you want to see more, go to my photo album!

I too know what it feels like to be thirsty..

2006-10-20T00:05:00.000-04:00

God I hate when I get INSANELY thirsty right before I go to bed. I get so damn thirsty that when I go to take a drink of water....you would think it tasted like kool-aid and I was 5 years old. Seriously, I totally guzzle it. Then go for another glass. And another..

Then I'm up half the night emptying my bladder. It's lovely.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate October 19th? No? Well I do. I am glad that it is now past midnight and it's the 20th. I think I did that on purpose, but on accident ...at the same time. Weird huh?

The Island

2006-10-18T20:20:00.000-04:00

Last night I stayed up way too late watching this movie on HBO, and it was well worth it. The movie managed to keep my attention for the entire 2 hours, and let me tell ya...that can be a feat!

If you haven't already seen it, then I highly recommend it; especially if you like sci-fi action flicks.

Go here for the official site of the movie - it's a real nice site, and does a fine job of letting you know what the movie is all about. I would go more into detail myself, but I'm feeling lazy at the moment.

Just know it's definitely worth renting! Personally, the next time I see it , I'll be buying it...

Wind turbines and other fall pics

2006-10-17T16:50:00.000-04:00

Pictured above are wind turbines that I took a picture of near Adams Center, NY. Unfortunately the weather was pretty cloudy and rainy that day, so the lighting isn't as bright as I would have liked. I had to take a picture of it though because there's just something about a wind turbine that looks very surreal, and unfitting..almost like it's from another planet and somehow as you were driving along you crossed over into another dimension. They are HUGE. And they have an odd number of blades, maybe if it had 4 blades it wouldn't look so weird??

Just a thought.

It is truly a "catch 22" situation because wind turbines are a great alternative source for energy, but at the same time they really are an eye sore, especially when you have fields of 50 or more and they aren't very far apart. So it's one of those things where you have to decide which is more important to you - preserving the natural beauty of our land, or sacrificing the aesthetics to preserve our land in a much more important way; through the environment.

So anyway, the girls and I went out driving this weekend looking for some pictures to take with my new camera. The weather just wasn't working with us though, so I don't have a whole lot. The ones I have aren't too shabby though!!

I'll show you one more of them, and then for the rest you'll have to go to My Photo Album and check them out there. They are better over there anyway because you can see them much larger and even download them to your PC and use as a desktop background..they look great that way, right now I have the picture below as my background, and I love it.

* The link to my photo album is on your left, near the top of my sidebar.

Chief Loves You!

2006-10-14T16:32:00.000-04:00

This is my dog Chief, he's a cute little guy isn't he?? Well I think he is, but he does have his issues! One of them is that he's a little insecure. He's quick to cower, even when there's no need too. So sometimes he just won't come to you at all because he's too busy looking like your going to whip him, and other times, he'll come to you, but the minute you start petting him or go to put his leash on he'll start peeing. He isn't that bad with me, but if your a guy he freaks out more often.

Another thing that he's weird about is his bathroom habits. He insists on privacy. He will bury himself deep in some bushes or tall grass before he goes to the bathroom. This is cool and all, but it can get annoying if your waiting for him to find his "special place" and it's freezing cold outside. Sometimes he never finds the perfect spot, and leaves us a special present in our bathroom! He doesn't do it all the time, so I don't get to bent out of shape about it. I think it's funny he goes in there actually...he could choose much worse places, and it's not on any carpet, and IT IS where we go, sooooo...how mad can you be?

Well, Andrew gets REALLY mad at Chief, and to be truthful..he's never really liked him. He says he's weak and calls him "Princess Pee-Pee" - haha.

So anyway, yesterday I took this pic of him, and I thought it was pretty cute, which for some reason made me want to email a picture to Andrew. I sent him a cute little note that said "Chief loves you" right by his picture. I was trying to soften up their relationship a little, because I'm tired of Andrew telling me to take him to the pound!!

But did it work??

Nope. :(

Andrew said all he saw in the picture was a scared little dog who pisses and sh*t's in his bathroom.

Poor chief..I tried!!

Hopefully Andrew will come around someday, because if he doesn't then he's the only one that loses, because we're not getting rid of Chief, and it's much easier to love than to hate! ;-)

I had a secret meeting..

2006-10-12T00:39:00.000-04:00

In the basement of my brain... :-)

So I listen to a lot of music. I love that I am able to tailor what’s playing to match the mood I’m in – I quite often use music as either a means of escape(if I’m bored and need to be distracted) or as a mood enhancer. I find it much more stimulating and less frustrating then watching television.

Here’s some of what is currently holding my attention, and fortunatly they all have a MSPACE page, so it's easy for you to go over there and have a listen if your interested..just click on the band name.

Cloud Cult – Advice from the Happy Hippopotamus: I love bands with a raw, unpolished sound, and these guys definitely deliver on that. This album makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because the music is so diverse and awesome (it rocks!). Sad because the lead singer’s 2-year-old son died a few years ago, and I always have that in the back of my mind when listening to his lyrics.

The National – Alligator: these guys have a fantastic sound. Dark and uplifting at the same time. “Secret Meeting” is one of my favs, hence the title of this post :-)

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah: another band with a really raw sound. This CD has been in heavy rotation for me for a while now. Total DIY success story – they produced and pressed the album themselves, and have sold well over 100,000 copies without a label or a distribution deal.

Ghostland Observatory – Paparazzi Lightning: guaranteed to make you want to dance. I’m amazed at the sounds these two guys can make. Boogie time. For real.

Ok, so that's it for now. I have more I would love to mention, but I'll save them for a later time.

PS- Did anyone see my paintings down there? Were they that bad? I haven't gotten any comments on them, and you know I'm sensitive about my shit! hehe. It's ok if you don't like it, because she's the one that paid for it and she likes it alot, but it's always neat to get other opinions too, ya know?

30, Flirty & Thriving!!

2006-10-08T22:45:00.000-04:00

In a few short hours I will be 30 years old. I wasn't even really thinking about it until "TC" left a comment in "Audrey AKA Trouble" and told me that it was a good last "20 something" post. Then I thought...OMG..it's THAT CLOSE. Thanks TC. hehe.

I'm taking it all in stride though. My motto is "Thirty, Flirty & Thriving" damn it!! I stole it from "13 Going On 30" which is a real cute movie with Jennifer Garner in it. I actually got the movie as a birthday present from my neighbor Friday night. She invited me to a little birthday bash where she cooked me one of the best meals I've had in a long time; broccoli and chicken Alfredo, and a dessert called "pumpkin crisp"...it was beyond yummy.

Andrew made me the cutest little power point presentation for my birthday that was made to look like an E Card. He was so proud of it that he emailed it to me early! It was so thoughtful of him it made me very thankful that he is my husband. He rocks.

All in all, I am feeling great about being 30. I grow more into myself each year, and that's a great thing. Like fine wine, I'm getting better with age!

More tomorrow. As a 30 year old.

{{{{{scary}}}}}

New Artwork!

2006-10-08T20:46:00.000-04:00

For those of you that might be wondering...

YES! I am still painting! In fact, my neighbor actually commissioned me to do some artwork for her bathroom a few weeks ago. She wanted some art that blended well with her shower curtain and the colors she used in her bathroom which were a bright red and a navy blue.

Well, today I finished and I am thrilled how it came out! They look awesome in her bathroom. It's cool too, because she is actually gone for the weekend in Rochester but I have her key, so I went and put them up so that when she comes home she will have a nice little surprise!

Anyway, here they are -- tell me what you think. I named them "Circuitry". :)

Here they are close up: (click to enlarge)

Audrey A.K.A "Trouble"

2006-10-07T00:49:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of updating to do, I know. Let me just say that my absence wasn't due to anything detrimental going on in my life...quite the opposite really.

Most days I have just found myself too involved in one thing or another, and when that happens, my blog suffers. Lately it's hard to sit down at my computer for any extended amounts of time, unless Audrey is in bed. I can check email, but lord forbid I try to respond to one, it's like an invitation for Audrey to either,

1.) Insist on sitting on my lap, and/or whining to snuggle

2.) Have her tip-toe off some where and totally get into something she knows she shouldn't be doing.

Exhibit A:

This particular incident happened a few weeks ago when I was sitting in my recliner, trying to do something on the computer, so Audrey and Taylor sat down at the kitchen table to color. Taylor got so involved in what she was coloring, she didn't notice Audrey trying to color her entire face. Then when caught, Audrey just thought she was the prettiest thing ever. Hmmmm. I beg to differ!

Exhibit B:

And this lovely incident happened about 15 minutes after I had painted Audrey's nails. I sat down after painting them and told her to blow on them and be careful so she wouldn't "hurt them". She was cool with that, but not too long after brought me the nail polish asking for her toes to be done. I told her to wait a little while and that I would do them when her other nails dried. Well, I said this while sitting down again, and trying to check some email. Audrey took that as a cue to go hide with the bottle of polish and try and do her toenails herself. Once again, she thought her nails were the Shiz-net. Hmmmm....

Nope.

Looks like a damn mess to me!

Oh yes...she knows she's guilty

If that's not a guilty looking expression then I don't know what is!

I mean..She would like you to think she's an angel:

But as you can see in the evidence above, she surely is NOT. hehe.

So, Dear Readers, that is one reason OF MANY that I haven't been writing much lately. I'm busy trying to keep up with my handful of a three year old!

Alas, I do have other reasons for my lack of writing, of which I will get into at a later time. Possibly this weekend? You know me and making commitments. It's goes against natural instinct for me..hehe. But I PLAN on updating more this weekend. There are tons of updates. ok...not TONS, but at least 4 or 5. ;)

Meanwhile, I hope everyone is having a good weekend out there!

P.S. - Yes I know her hair is OUT OF CONTROL. It looks really cute when she lets me do something with it, but when she's just vegging around the house, she prefers to hang "Afro-style"...hehe.

Doesn't a hug sound good??

2006-10-02T22:30:00.000-04:00

I know I wouldn't mind one.

The band "Sick Puppies" sings this song, which is titled "All The Same."

Getting Afghans from Stan..

2006-09-07T00:44:00.000-04:00

That's how Andrew refers to where he is at right now. I think it's kind of funny.

I don't get to talk very much on the phone with him, but lately he's been able to chat at night, so I can't complain. He isn't very happy over there. I think he's about as lonely as me, and most likely more. At least I have the kids to distract me. All he has are his own thoughts, and as we all know...you start thinking to much and nothing good ever comes out of it.

Anyway, here are some more pictures of Stan and also a few of his closet..err..room. The ones of his room are bit small cause they were taken with his web cam, and the other ones are borrowed from another soldier.

After looking at these mountains, it's easier to fathom why we haven't caught ole Osama, don't you think?

** please notice that nice blanket on his bed -- he brought it back from his first trip to Iraq, and ever since then I claimed it. I mean I CLAIMED it. It was my best woobie ever. Don't ask me why I call it woobie..I just do. Anyway..it's now with him. It gets cold in the mountains of Stan, and I didn't feel right turning him down when he asked for it. I miss it greatly though. All these months that he's been away before..it's wrapped me up, and made me feel better, and now it's gone. :( I'm glad he's enjoying it though. Lord knows his cell...err..room needs a piece of home in it!

Thursday's Top 10

2006-08-10T12:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, so lately I have been seriously slacking.

As in:

1 : not using due diligence, care, or dispatch : NEGLIGENT
2 a: characterized by slowness, sluggishness, or lack of energy b : moderate in some quality ; especially : moderately warm c: blowing or flowing at low speed
3 a: not tight or taut b: lacking in usual or normal firmness and steadiness : WEAK
4: wanting in activity: DULL
5: lacking in completeness, finish, or perfection
synonym see NEGLIGENT

The reasons why are somewhat difficult to articulate..the best explanation I can give is lately I have felt a little "out of place" -- and I'm not completely sure that's a good explanation. I don't mean it very literally, but just an overall feeling that this is all some how temporary -- my life as I know it now.

So anyway...it just makes me want to float above it all and observe. When I'm involved it feels like I'm not really there anyway, so why bother?

Promise I'm not trying to speak in codes, but I think that's my best shot at trying to give perspective of where my mind is at lately.

Anyway...here are the:

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR IN "FLOAT" MODE:

10. Keep having to wash the same load of laundry over and over again because you keep forgetting the next step of bringing it out of the washer and putting it in the dryer. (can you say smelly?)

09. Watch all the FREE "On Demand" programs your cable company provides. My cable company kicks ass so the list is pretty limitless...here are a few examples:

Fitness TV on demand - learn how to belly dance, Brazilian booty dance, urban dance, shape your abs, buns and thighs...and just for the hell of it, watch "The Ultimate Men's Workout"
(just watching these people gets me tired..but it's something to do)

Sports Instruction on demand - Learn skateboard tricks, the best way to train for a triathlon, all about mountain biking, golf, baseball skills
(you name it...I've watched it..come to me with all your sports questions)

Boom TV on demand: watch the Smurfs, the Pink Panther...Yogi Bear, etc, etc....it's like your 10 again but EVEN BETTER because you don't have some picky ass parent telling you to get up and be productive.
(you can eat on the couch and everything..it rocks)

08. Watch a lot of HGTV (home and garden tv) or DIY (do it yourself) TV and enjoy watching other people being productive. You get to see people fix up and sell their houses and meanwhile lose yourself in your thoughts of how YOU WISH you had a house of your own...especially the houses that these people tend to have..even the dumps that have potential...if only you had that house and the money to fix it..how fun would that be?
(for now..just watch other people do it and be jealous)

07. Watch the "Dog Whisperer" marathon on the National Geographic channel and secretly fall in love with Ceasar Millan -- all the while calling your dogs names because they don't seem to be as smart as the ones on TV. And don't forget when it's over...your on a true mission to prove to your dog who "The Leader Of The Pack" is. YOU. So get up and start bossing your dog around and wisping at it until it SUBMITS.
(if this fails, repeat the marathon that you've recorded and try again)

06. Lose yourself while toying with numerous blog templates..redesigning them, making your own graphics for them. This is actually a lot of fun, as lame as it may sound. (to me anyway)

05. Subscribe and watch the live feeds from Big Brother All Stars -- enough said
(yes I'm aware that this inherently implies I have issues!)

04. Go hang out at Lowes and actually watch people buy things to fix up their house. If you have some time to waste, actually fill up your cart with things you would buy to fix your imaginary house you wish you had.
(this takes the cake really...)

03. Become a member of Sam's Club just so you can go visit the warehouse and look at all the cool things you can buy in massive quantities. Then actually buy the things you hate going to the store for so you don't have to get them again for at least the next 6 months.
(Make sure to reserve a special closet just for all the toilet paper, paper towels, and other numerous things you've gotten in packs of six that you have no where else to put.)

02. Drive around your town and look at any and all empty store fronts that are for rent and dream about owning your own business. Then try to figure out and stick to what that business would be...this is another fun one.

Here are my top five ideas so far:

A dog grooming business (because the last person that groomed Gatsby totally butchered him..ohhhh how mommy was pissed!)

A pet supply store (after realizing I wouldn't really want to be up to my neck in dog hair all day)

A gallery/art supply store

A coffee shop

A Mexican or Cajun restaurant. I cook both very well :)

AND...FINALLY...

01.
Have a bottle of wine and eat popcorn
(both will take you to a place of supreme happiness AND a literal feeling of floating...you can't really beat that!)

Barn Stars

2006-07-24T13:36:00.000-04:00

These things are very popular around NY it seems...at least upstate NY. Before moving here, I don't think I've ever really seen or noticed one before, but here they are hard to overlook, homeowners every where have them adorning the peaks of their houses, or any number of other places.

Within a few days of meeting my neighbor upstairs, we were talking on her balcony, and she looked down to my front patio and said "I think we need to get you a barn star for that wall..". She was speaking of a wooden divider like the one above that separates my patio from the next door neighbor. Anyway, I laughed and said, "What do they mean anyway? Or do they mean anything?" - She didn't really know the answer, she just said she got one because she liked the way they looked.

Well me being me...liking the look or not..had to find out if there was a meaning behind it. I mean what if it stood for something I was totally against? I couldn't have that..heh.

So the weekend before last when we were down in Alexandria Bay we found a little craft shop that sold them, and the lady at the counter looked real friendly, so I asked her. She told me they signified peace and joy. Which is totally cool...I can dig that. I went ahead and bought a green one that day for $23.

When my neighbor comes back from visiting her family (she left for 3 weeks) she'll be proud...haha.

Oh yeah..and since getting my internet hooked up I googled it, and most sites said that now days the star meant good luck and good fortune...which of course I can dig too :)

Pretty soon I'm going to post some pictures of my front patio. You have NO IDEA how hard I've been working on it...I was outside all day Saturday (in the rain!) and all day Sunday slaving away. It's almost done, and it's getting so pretty..it's going to be my little outside haven. I can't wait until my neighbor comes back and we can sit out there and chill..it will be nice :)

PS- I realize I may be the only one out of the loop about the barn stars...but you know...just in case....I had to share! If any friends or family want one, just let me know too!

This and That

2006-07-14T11:09:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this blogging thing and me haven't been getting a long lately. Some of it has to do with the internet I'm using...errr...borrowing. The connectivity goes in and out so it gets on my nerves pretty quick. The cable guy comes on the 18th next week though, so I'm excited about that.

I've also been in a little bit of a funk, and trying not to think of what's to come, i.e - sleeping in way to late, and being highly unproductive until about 4pm or later. My bed has been my haven lately. Bad, I know.

I was thinking about my recent blogging last night and I realized that I never mentioned how pretty NY is, or how I really do like it here. The tree's here are endless, it's gorgeous. The little town I live in is about 12 miles from Watertown, NY, which is where we go if we want to go to the mall, or Lowes, or any big store like that. The city of Watertown is a little run down, but it has a great strip for all your shopping needs. It's funny though because even though it's only 12 miles away, (20 miles to the main strip) it takes at least 35-40 minutes to get there because on the way from our town you hit 3-4 little towns and drive through them and have to slow down and all that. Plus it's got these huge hills on the way, I have to downshift all the time, plus my ears need to pop at least 2 or more times. Awesome views though..you really can't beat it. One of these days I'll have to stop the car and take a pic.

Carthage is also about 8 miles from Fort Drum, and the way you have to drive to post is pretty cool too. The whole way I follow the Black River, it's right next to the road, and a pretty big lake, so it's definitely a nice little drive.

Oh! And the people in NY are soooo polite and friendly..it's insane. I love it, but would have never expected it. They are all about customer service if your at a store or restaurant, and even your average person off the street seems very friendly and talkative..no matter where you go. Of course I'm speaking for Upstate NY, not the city, but still, for some reason, I didn't expect it.

They blow people in the Midwest out of the water as far as friendliness and such - they all seem very down to earth.

Also! I think I failed to mention that before we left for NY, we traded in my Toyota Matrix for a 2006 Mazda 5. I was out at a Dollar General by Andrews grandma's house and I saw it..and at first I though it was a Matrix, but then I looked a little closer, and it kind of was, but had way more cargo room than my car. When I went back to the house I half mentioned it to Andrew, and his ears perked up right away. He got on the net at his moms and searched for a Mazda dealer near her house. We went there that night just to look at them on the lot. The next day we went to talk to the dealer to see if trading in ours was an option..seeing I hadn't even owned the Matrix for a year yet. We told them we just wanted to check into it and see if it was possible without making our payments any higher, and possibly lowering them.

Turns out it was possible, and my payment went down $20 a month, and I am now the proud owner of a wanna-be minivan. Gasp! It's like a mini van...but not. It's a mini version of a mini-van. hehe Oh, and I forgot to mention it's a manual tranmission, so that's another reason we saved money on it. I love driving a stick so I was all for it.

It was really nice for the trip up here, since we needed every bit of space we could get, it has a huge back cargo area, that is also a third row of seating if the seats aren't folded down.

Anyway, I love it. It gets good gas mileage and everything. Soccor Mom here I come!! ;) or not. haha.

Here's some pics of it. These are some that I snatched off the web. My car looks the same though..color and all. The pics make it look like a full size mini van..but trust me it's not. It's pretty short in comparison.

OK, I better get going. I have more to say, but I don't think it's fair to put it all in one post..it might get a little long. Maybe if I blogged more than once a week I wouldn't have this problem...hmmmmm. I make no promises though..but I'll try ;)

It is what it is...

2006-07-13T10:19:00.000-04:00

The following are blog entry's that chronicle the mess I went through with my mother the year before she died...

Static

2006-07-12T13:36:00.000-04:00

Over the past few days I got some news that's been a little unsettling. My mom died. I guess I'm still trying to process it, I have a lot of mixed feelings on the subject, and questions I would like to ask, but I'm not sure I really want the answers..etc..Etc..

During the day I'm fine, it's when I try to close my eyes at night that it stings. But whatever, I'll work through it.

At 29 both of my parents are dead. Who would have thought. In my head I just keep thinking..phase two...phase two...phase two..just move on..get on with it. Andrew says that's cold hearted. I think it's a survival instinct. All my life that's what I've done. I hit a bump..a crash...it burns, it hurts, the pain is unavoidable, but none of that pain makes any of it go away, it fixes nothing. So I move on. Put it on the back burner, what else is there to do? Maybe it's not the normal way of handling things, but it's my way, and it hasn't failed me before.

So anyway, I don't really feel like talking more about Niagara Falls, but I still have a lot of nice pictures, so I think I'm going to open up a photo album of some sort where people can look at the pics if they want too. This weekend we went to Alexandria Bay and I got even more pictures that rock..and with all the cool places to go around here , getting good pics will probably be a trend, so starting an album seems like the thing to do.

Oh yeah..and yesterday was Audrey's Birthday. She's 3! We took her to Apple Bee's and had them come clapping and singing to her...she loves to watch when they do it for other people, she even claps with them. When they came up to her with her cake, and candle..you should have seen the magic in her eyes. The girl was on cloud nine.

Also, at about 6pm last night I got cable. Yay! It's fancy cable too, I love it. I got a DVR cable box, and I can pause live programming..record a show with a push of a button and watch it later..oh man..it's nice. Last night I would have missed Big Brother because we were out to dinner...but nope..it was recording it for me..that and Rockstar Supernova. So finally at about midnight I sat down to watch them...and got to fast forward through the commercials. Hell yeah. It also has HBO on demand, so all the episodes I've been missing of Deadwood I can catch up on. You know I'm stoked.

And of course nothing beats having my highspeed internet again. Nope. Nothing.