WARNING

I need to get some stuff off my chest, so if you have delicate sensibilities or feel like you have a tendency to take things personal, you might need to stop here and go on about your internet surfing.

The thing is, over a year and a half ago I started this blog as an outlet and lately it hasn't been a good one at all. Sometimes it's just a fun way to pass the time as I mess with the template, but a lot of times it was here when I really needed to express myself in one way or another about a multitude of things.

Like the many times it was the wee hours of the morning and I had drank too much wine...I could come here and type in a post that made complete nonsense, feel better, and then take my drunk ass to bed and pass out. (sigh..such good times)

Or the times I was dealing with my mom, I could come here and vent and make fun of her...it may not have been right in all ethical circles, but it made me feel better. And thats what counts right? ;)

My frustration had a home, and that was KEY.

My blog is here for many different reasons, and they are ALL selfish. Every time I try to start writing stuff just to write it and make my readers happy, it ALMOST ALWAYS ends up sucking donkey balls. But when I come here to get shit off my chest and write about everything from my family, to politics, to how my kids get on my nerve, or to share some music I'm obsessed with or a painting I just finished, it ALMOST ALWAYS turns out to be some good stuff. And if it's not, I don't care, because at least it made me feel better to write it/ share it.

Some people start blogs for affirmation of something or another. Maybe they want to know if you care what they have to say....or maybe they try and write something you might think is interesting. Sometimes it's just a popularity contest and people weigh everything on how many comments they get or how many visits they get to their sitemeter. The thing they are missing is that you don't start a blog for OTHER PEOPLE. Unless it's one of those political or fashion blogs and etc. that are purely for entertainment purposes.

I don't care about any of those things. I could care less if you don't care. If you get bored..leave. And comment or no comment, I will continue to post and enjoy my blog for what it is, it's for my enjoyment more than anything. Those who create blogs for what they are hoping they get out of other people, almost always fail because they get let down, and wrap up way too much in whether they get a comment or not.

Blogging is not where you come to find out if your family loves you, or for confirmation that you are an interesting person, or that what you have to say is important. YOU need to have the confidence to KNOW that you are an interesting person..or at least think you are, and YOU need KNOW you are important to yourself before looking to another to assure you of it. And odds are, if your family loves you, they still love you even if they suck at giving comments. (Damon loves me and he never comments! hehe) If someone does care about what you have to say, trust me...it's a BONUS. An awesome bonus, and greatly appreciated, but it shouldn't be the sole reason why you blog.

It's an outlet, and I don't have a whole lot of other outlets that I prefer to use, especially when it just comes to random rants and minor annoyances that don't mean enough to bring to any ones attention personally.

What's frustrating me is that lately I haven't been able to use this blog how I would like because of who might be reading it and such. Not that I mind family reading it, but since I know they are, I feel like I have to censor my content so as not to offend anyone.

And we all know...censorship is not fun! ;)

Anyway, so I need to change that. I need to be able come here and dump shit without repercussions and then move on my merry way. I also don't want to hurt any ones feelings in the process.

How do I do that?

Well. We have to come to a mutual understanding. It's as simple as that. You as the reader have to understand that none of what I write is to bring anything to your attention personally. Meaning: if I was angry with you I wouldn't come here to let you know, or if it was any other big deal that I felt needed to be addressed personally..this wouldn't be my way of letting you know...I'd tell you first, as long as you were open to hear it.

On the other hand, if your just annoying me in some random stupid way, I might feel the need to get it out and write about it. I'd email you about it, but if I am writing about it in here, it's nothing that changes my perspective of you in any way, I don't like/love you any less, and I am not even saying you need to stop doing what your doing. I just want to come here and say your annoying me and then get on with life. That's how fleeting it is.

The problem with not being able to express my minor annoyances for fear of offending someone is that over time they build up because I've had nowhere to dump them and then I might start getting actually mad at you and really have no reason to be.

Does that make any sense?? I hope it does.

The moral of this story? Don't take anything I write too personal or too seriously, because it isn't meant to be. By all means, if I am annoying you, go write about it in your blog...and me being me...I will probably drop you a comment about how you love me anyway so to live with it ;) As long as your not over there totally trashing me, I'm cool. So I'm asking you to be cool too :)

Otherwise, I dunno, maybe you should just give my blog up because I am tired of not being able to go here and say whats on my mind. I thought about just creating a different blog that no one knows...

But I was here first!!! hehe

Seriously..I have too much history here to just abandon it.

Ok, so that's it. From now on I'm going to say what I want to say, and that's just how it is. Love it or leave it baby.

I have a great topic for my first installment but I feel it's too long to get into right now considering how long this post is already..I don't want to overwhelm anyone! Lord knows I've had my share of frustrations lately.

Peace out homies - more tomorrow!